tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61097203210493876072024-03-13T09:56:13.918-06:00Black Chicken Honey Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-41441218493024484462015-03-21T09:56:00.002-06:002015-03-21T09:56:32.999-06:00Insomnia<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I have insomnia... ok, it's 8 in the morning. But Eva is still sleeping and I like to take full advantage of that when I can and catch some zzz's. My anxiety is getting the best of me this morning and Xanax is off limits when you're pregnant, so instead of drugging myself I thought blogging might be therapeutic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I wish I was better at this! I think about blogging a lot, but I just feel like I have other stuff I need to be doing (like pinning stuff I'll never do and checking out Facebook) and never make the time for it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well, I'm going to be 35 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Why did I do this to myself again? Eva needs a sibling because I think she is lonely, but there would have probably been an easier way. Then, I have a year of breastfeeding to get through. I seriously don't know which is worse. Pregnancy or nursing?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u>Pregnancy</u><br />They could make a reality TV show of me just trying to get up or out of bed. Beached whale!<br />Constant migraine<br />My thighs are like tree trunks<br />I could go on and on, but I won't</span></div>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;">Nursing</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I just bought a size G (as in ginormous) bra. And I don't even have any milk yet. Can't wait to see what happens there (not)!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Pumping, and pumping, and pumping, and pumping. They should just put me in with the dairy cows.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Bleeding nipples<br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Last time nursing was a doozy. Maybe it will be better this time! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Want to see our baby name list? You probably don't because last time I shared my name list I didn't even pick any of the names on it. This time the list is more extensive. Maybe we'll use one of these. All the girl middle names have family significance. Lyla Dawn is my favorite. Then Derrick told me the other day he can't do Dawn because one of his exes had that for a middle name. He said we could spell it different and use it. Any suggestions? Leighton Lillie is Derrick's favorite. I hate even worrying about it because what if it's a boy? If it's a boy the middle name will be Derrick.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u><span style="color: magenta;">Girl</span></u><br />Brianne Leila<br />Brielle Dawn<br />Isabelle Leila<br />Joselyn Mae<br />Leighton Rae or Leighton Lillie<br />Lyla Dawn</span></div>
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<u><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Boy</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Daxton<br />Drew<br />Easton<br />Ethan<br />Jackson (My favorite. Is it too popular?)<br />Joshua</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The diva is up now and I am supposed to take her baby doll potty. Guess I better get on that! </span></div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-3850851745794305152014-09-28T21:36:00.001-06:002014-09-29T13:06:21.009-06:00Reflection<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">These were my New Years resolutions:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">* Get skinnier thighs<br />(Have you heard all that thunder lately? That's just me walking to the kitchen for more food)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">* Blog at least 2x a month</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(have you kept up?) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">* Don't get on the internet until Eva goes down for a nap<br />(I did pretty good with this until I got an iPhone. I should try again.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">* Read more books <br />(nope)<br /><br />* Finish reading the Book of Mormon<br /> (haven't even started)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">*Get a new hairstyle. Ugh, I need serious help here!<br /> (I got a tiny ombre and bangs this year. That counts, right?)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">* Go on vacation somewhere I've never been before<br />(Derricka and I went to San Francisco, but I got the flu and puked the whole time. I guess I'd never been to that hotel before.)<br /><br />*Throw/give away 100 things.<br />(I actually think this has happened)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">*Make a weekly cleaning schedule and stick to it.<br />(Hahahaha, I am sooooo funny!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">*Use my sewing machine</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(Still laughing)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some of these are still attainable, but others are like really? I must have been way high on life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am getting stoked for Fall/Halloween/Christmas. Why does everything have to cost money? I can barely afford my bills and a gallon of milk, let alone all the cutesy crafty stuff I want to do. Not to mention I still have a house to decorate, a basement to finish and a yard to put in. I'll just have to limit it to like one or two projects per holiday per year. Then, when I am 75 my holidays and home will be completely cutesy... and then I'll have to move into a nursing home. Then I'll star in an Alanis Morissette song. Isn't it ironic... Don't ya think?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I just figured out If I try one thing on my Pinterest once a week and never pin again it will take me 85 years.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Eva is still adorable just in case you were wondering. She is getting to be a lot easier. We had a rough couple years, but right now things are good! But I am also starting to dread the winter months. What the heck do you do all day? Especially when you are an only child? I'm just not that fun and I don't have that much energy. I'm basically a sloth these days. Gosh, I should have been born a cat. I am going to sign us up for fall swimming lessons so that should give us something to look forward to a couple of times a week. </span><br />
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Well, anyway summer was good to us. Here are some pitchers.<br /><br />Eva drew this face all by herself. I was totally impressed. There are eyes, a nose and a hat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We have a load of topsoil in the front yard that the neighbor kids and Eva have loved to play on. (I'm sure the adult neighbors love it too. It looks way classy.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Derrick's parents' dog broke a mom duck's wing, so she crawled into a window well and called for her ducklings and these guys showed up. We adopted them ducks for like two days. They never stopped pooping and I have enough of that to clean up so sadly Af and Lac had to go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Eva had Taylor and Rylee over for their first sleepover. We (I) filled up the pool with hot water from the kitchen sink so they could hot tub on the deck. It only took an hour.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rylee wasn't having it. She just wanted to sit in a towel and she wasn't even wet. Silly girl. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Watching a show, munchin on popcorn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Three little monkeys jumpin on the bed!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Taylor came into my room and flipped on the light at like 3 in the morning (talk about a jump start) and said... "Um, Ashaley I'm ready to be awake now."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The next day we went to the splash pad. Eva likes it there, but there are also swings there and she would much rather do that. Too bad pushing a swing doesn't get you huge guns. I'd be ripped after this summer! T and R weren't too sure. Papa Don and Grammy came. Grammy brought Cheetos and helped me wrestle the children and Papa Don even took them through the water! Grandma Babe came too, but it was a little windy so she just watched from her car.... #hairprobs </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Cutie!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fabulous</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rylee Roo. Totally dry... probably asking for a towel :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rub a dub dub. I waterlogged these children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was fun, but exhausting at the same time. I told Brittni if I heard "Um, Ashaley?" one more time that my head would explode. I really don't know how my sister does it. (WITHOUT MEDICATION!) In case you didn't know, my sister has a 6 year old, 3 year old twin girls, and one year old twins (boy and girl). That's 5 kids in a little less than six years and only three pregnancies. She's what scientists call a freak of nature. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Eva painted a lot. Mostly on her body. Must be the Native American coming out in her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And about once a week she would (will) just paint with what was in her diaper. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We potty trained. This is the look of surprise/success. :) Adorable!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We put on makeup with Aunty Amb.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And we grocery shopped at the house a lot. In our high heels and tiny panties, of course! Future People of Walmart star right here!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We had one slushy. She loves crushed ice out of the freezer, but would only have a couple bites of this. Little weirdo. I got cotton candy flavor. I mean... who could resist?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We rode other people's toys. And went to Bear Lake once. What a fun day! Eva is my little water baby.</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is Derrick. He is part of the family too :)</span></span></div>
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We took lots of selfies. Those are the only pictures she doesn't yell at me for taking and will actually pose for.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> And that was pretty much summer. Oh and I binge watched all 6 seasons of Gossip Girl.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Until next time!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> xoxo bloggy girl.</span></div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-78935927595371359762014-04-10T23:34:00.000-06:002014-04-10T23:34:07.747-06:00Goodbye March and winter<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Wow, what a stupid, sucky month March is. It's like all sunny and beautiful looking outside and then you go out there and your nipples could poke someones eye out! Plus, we were sick ALL MONTH LONG!! Flu, sinus infections, colds... this picture pretty much sums it up.</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2WsMwp2B9_A/U0d1rtNspNI/AAAAAAAADNw/9V2P6t-0Ins/s1600/DSC02715.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2WsMwp2B9_A/U0d1rtNspNI/AAAAAAAADNw/9V2P6t-0Ins/s1600/DSC02715.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> So, on to April! I hope you are nice to us :) Here are some winter pictures that I am too lazy to individually post about. This is mostly a post for me to keep memories, so if you are bored #sorrynotsorry</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Christmas cuteness. Eva got her very own makeup set because I thought it would help keep her out of mine. She likes it, but has eaten half of it and still prefers the real thing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Eva had an awesome cardboard condo to play in for a couple of months. Everyone who reads this, NEVER throw away a big box. I will drive 1000 miles to come get it from you. This was the best entertainment ever!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4bB543AEbsA/U0d5I3afrTI/AAAAAAAADOw/u7Tv9oUnWTk/s1600/DSC02504.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4bB543AEbsA/U0d5I3afrTI/AAAAAAAADOw/u7Tv9oUnWTk/s1600/DSC02504.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ever since Eva could crawl she has loved to put stuff over her eyes (blankets, hats, sheets, her shirt) and try to walk around. One day she is going to get seriously injured, but for now she just cracks herself up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I5ALxJrko6I/U0d5wQur56I/AAAAAAAADO4/B0owg5RlhxQ/s1600/DSC02615.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I5ALxJrko6I/U0d5wQur56I/AAAAAAAADO4/B0owg5RlhxQ/s1600/DSC02615.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CmlfzQ7WQb8/U0d52K09mYI/AAAAAAAADPA/HEWdAh0JIx8/s1600/DSC02617.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CmlfzQ7WQb8/U0d52K09mYI/AAAAAAAADPA/HEWdAh0JIx8/s1600/DSC02617.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Snow fun! She LOVED promontory snow day. She would hunt Papa Don down to take her for a ride. She also loves to just eat it. All winter I would frequently catch her eating snow off my tires and in parking lots. And I wonder why we are always sick! I loved promontory snow day too. Angela and I were dumbfounded that outside in winter could be fun. I also discovered that my winter weight gain + Griffen can tip over a snowmobile. How EMBARRASSING! And my dad is a crazy psycho sled driver. I'm surprised I don't have frostbite face after going on a ride with him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UuZYQSy8Oh4/U0d9WiOMQ3I/AAAAAAAADPw/TUEq-ZtWtA4/s1600/DSCN0236.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UuZYQSy8Oh4/U0d9WiOMQ3I/AAAAAAAADPw/TUEq-ZtWtA4/s1600/DSCN0236.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DDfIq6Rk5Ng/U0d77DpzX6I/AAAAAAAADPU/rVMd9C73fvU/s1600/DSCN0188.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DDfIq6Rk5Ng/U0d77DpzX6I/AAAAAAAADPU/rVMd9C73fvU/s1600/DSCN0188.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HVDmC24eYEE/U0d9iJ2RtDI/AAAAAAAADP4/EqSXkqTJ4BY/s1600/DSCN0195.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HVDmC24eYEE/U0d9iJ2RtDI/AAAAAAAADP4/EqSXkqTJ4BY/s1600/DSCN0195.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E0oWGJSL10c/U0d79QkPzDI/AAAAAAAADPo/AaUdU1xWv_4/s1600/DSCN0197.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E0oWGJSL10c/U0d79QkPzDI/AAAAAAAADPo/AaUdU1xWv_4/s1600/DSCN0197.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dblCsKJSjP4/U0d76z3XXUI/AAAAAAAADPQ/icCUx9T4-30/s1600/DSCN0200.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dblCsKJSjP4/U0d76z3XXUI/AAAAAAAADPQ/icCUx9T4-30/s1600/DSCN0200.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_SCirfi7uiY/U0d78TYayFI/AAAAAAAADPc/nDIAMCBuJ-g/s1600/DSCN0228.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_SCirfi7uiY/U0d78TYayFI/AAAAAAAADPc/nDIAMCBuJ-g/s1600/DSCN0228.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nis0CqRpbL8/U0d6QXQKDEI/AAAAAAAADPI/bbqsogZS_GU/s1600/DSC02618.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nis0CqRpbL8/U0d6QXQKDEI/AAAAAAAADPI/bbqsogZS_GU/s1600/DSC02618.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">That is all for tonight folks! Love you, bye!</span></div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-87666269424010300802014-02-10T23:32:00.001-07:002014-02-11T00:01:12.811-07:00Birthday Girl<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">How does someone change from this:</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wHlwYYVMerQ/UvP_OPf0jVI/AAAAAAAADJU/LRPZJWBP9Qs/s1600/colage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wHlwYYVMerQ/UvP_OPf0jVI/AAAAAAAADJU/LRPZJWBP9Qs/s1600/colage.jpg" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">To this:</span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YXxT48BrAlY/UvQNnU8ixiI/AAAAAAAADKQ/4ltN1gaNnac/s1600/Oct,+Nov,+Dec1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YXxT48BrAlY/UvQNnU8ixiI/AAAAAAAADKQ/4ltN1gaNnac/s1600/Oct,+Nov,+Dec1.jpg" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In just two years?? :( How sad.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Eva's actual birthday was actually pretty crappy. She had croup and it was beyond scary! One minute she would be fine and the next she would be gasping for air. I hated it! Here are some pretty dang sad pictures of the birthday girl.</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ktbHd6-qW2s/UviIs4FX9wI/AAAAAAAADLQ/HRDMN9eKKC0/s1600/DSC02484-001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ktbHd6-qW2s/UviIs4FX9wI/AAAAAAAADLQ/HRDMN9eKKC0/s1600/DSC02484-001.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iuGTEURf5_4/UviIU55gwCI/AAAAAAAADLA/v8oGA-p9OhE/s1600/DSC02489.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iuGTEURf5_4/UviIU55gwCI/AAAAAAAADLA/v8oGA-p9OhE/s1600/DSC02489.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nxIj2U496zs/UviIW789YLI/AAAAAAAADLI/n9ZmbTr7Gao/s1600/DSC02483.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nxIj2U496zs/UviIW789YLI/AAAAAAAADLI/n9ZmbTr7Gao/s1600/DSC02483.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">See that big old scratch on her face in the first picture? That was because when I went to InstaCare for her breathing treatment they left me in there all alone to hold the mask on her face and hold her down. Um, do they think I am secretly an octopus? I wonder if they would have been shocked to find out that I only have two arms! Poor Eva was terrified and fought me the whole time which resulted in her gouged little face. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And don't even get me started on the incompetence of the THREE doctors we saw in 24 hours! The first doctor said it was a just a little cold and to come back if she didn't feel better in TEN days. What the fudge word? I paid $100 for that?! I could kill someone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The second doctor actually diagnosed it as croup and gave us a steriod. I have a nebulizer (breathing machine) for my asthma and when I asked him if I could use it on Eva and he said it wouldn't make a difference. And then he told us to "Get out of here." Like Eva was the most disgusting child with an illness he had ever seen. Still debating whether or not I should call the clinic and make a big deal out of that. What do you think?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The third doctor was actually helpful and gave me a prescription, but I had to ask for it. So, if your kid ever gets croup here is a tip, ask for a prescription for a nebulizer and some Albuterol. I probably gave Eva 10 treatments and if I hadn't had it I guarantee we would have ended up in the ER more than once. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Eva eventually quit fighting us when she figured out that the breathing treatments made her feel better and the poor thing even started asking for them!</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V996i5D2bbs/Uvm9ljcezaI/AAAAAAAADLs/cQEmjk-A7Og/s1600/DSC02581.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V996i5D2bbs/Uvm9ljcezaI/AAAAAAAADLs/cQEmjk-A7Og/s1600/DSC02581.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We had her party a couple of weeks later. Every time someone would knock on the door she would run to see who it was and after she saw her visitors she would scream and jump and run in circles like a maniac! I guess we need more company over here.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r-d1XvdkhvI/Uvm9d7b8zuI/AAAAAAAADLk/ESYlbW-uKwY/s1600/DSC02523.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r-d1XvdkhvI/Uvm9d7b8zuI/AAAAAAAADLk/ESYlbW-uKwY/s1600/DSC02523.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Derrick and I gave her a Cabbage Patch baby that looks like she did when she was a baby. Eva is a first time mom and she's having a hard time adjusting. Sometimes she loves little Harlow Karina and sometimes she wants nothing to do with her. I just keep telling her that postpartum can be rough and she'll eventually get the hang of it.</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XaKuJQp2FBU/Uvm-A1kGnhI/AAAAAAAADMU/tanBJPpOzMI/s1600/DSC02530.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XaKuJQp2FBU/Uvm-A1kGnhI/AAAAAAAADMU/tanBJPpOzMI/s1600/DSC02530.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Jensen's got her a little toaster, The Freeze's got her a Disney Princess sing-a-long movie, Gma and Gpa Bodine gave her some new books, Gma and Gpa Anderson are getting her a kid size table and chairs, and Aunt Shaela got her a magnadoodle. She loves it all!</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0x-sVnPYm7A/Uvm-FHAlOrI/AAAAAAAADMc/ec-RyI_UNx8/s1600/DSC02534.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0x-sVnPYm7A/Uvm-FHAlOrI/AAAAAAAADMc/ec-RyI_UNx8/s1600/DSC02534.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> This was our most successful family picture for the evening. My house is a disaster, but give me a break. I just had, like, 25 people over! Okay, it's a disaster even when people aren't over, but that will be my excuse for this picture.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8K4a_-9BvvM/Uvm93v63A6I/AAAAAAAADL8/xBNjOvtEJoo/s1600/DSC02577.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8K4a_-9BvvM/Uvm93v63A6I/AAAAAAAADL8/xBNjOvtEJoo/s1600/DSC02577.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">After mostly everyone had gone home Eva experienced her first post birthday party hangover. First, she dragged my rug underneath the light and just laid on it for, like, 15 minutes.</span> <br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lvgA33LVTs4/Uvm9nhYKlhI/AAAAAAAADL4/3zZJG5Y-vZg/s1600/DSC02536.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lvgA33LVTs4/Uvm9nhYKlhI/AAAAAAAADL4/3zZJG5Y-vZg/s1600/DSC02536.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then, she decided to put her underwear on her head and run around like a cray cray for about ten minutes.</span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZRtcfGsxEUg/Uvm97P0F2TI/AAAAAAAADMM/i0FqtmKi8I0/s1600/DSC02547.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZRtcfGsxEUg/Uvm97P0F2TI/AAAAAAAADMM/i0FqtmKi8I0/s1600/DSC02547.JPG" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then, it got really quiet and I couldn't see her anywhere. She was just under the tramp recouping.</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7Ms5rYsarNA/Uvm-kZ6idfI/AAAAAAAADMo/NjQNvyDQQNE/s1600/DSC02576.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7Ms5rYsarNA/Uvm-kZ6idfI/AAAAAAAADMo/NjQNvyDQQNE/s1600/DSC02576.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">To sum up she is doll face and we love having a two year old, even though just a few hours ago, I found her butt freaking naked in her crib with pee all over her sheets. Sorry, no pics of that pervy pervs!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And just in case you aren't sick of reading about my kid here is a little picture I made to help me remember what she is like as a two year old. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d6ha25jsi5E/UvnDUJzW9DI/AAAAAAAADM0/PPviNq7B6u0/s1600/IMG_2519.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d6ha25jsi5E/UvnDUJzW9DI/AAAAAAAADM0/PPviNq7B6u0/s1600/IMG_2519.jpg" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
Photo courtesy of my fabulous cousin @ <a href="http://amberhoneyphotography.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Amber Honey Photography</a></div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-92198110035931606652014-01-20T23:49:00.001-07:002014-01-21T22:46:11.259-07:00Favorite things: Vanity Edition<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NkgKu6QKTHY/Ut4ULuNY5SI/AAAAAAAADIk/LzjPTYRC1WM/s1600/MjAxMy02ZGUyOGVhZDNmYzU2Yjk0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NkgKu6QKTHY/Ut4ULuNY5SI/AAAAAAAADIk/LzjPTYRC1WM/s1600/MjAxMy02ZGUyOGVhZDNmYzU2Yjk0.png" height="280" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Every. dang. day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But seriously, do you ever go through stages where you feel bleh and want to paperbag your face? I do. I just look in the mirror and it's like Ham Porter is right behind me saying, "If my dog were as ugly as you, I'd shave it's butt and tell it to walk backwards." </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I started reading a new blog a few months ago. </span><a href="http://andeelayne.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-size: large;">The Honeybee</span></a><span style="font-size: large;">. This woman is everything I want to look like and dress like. Although, my MoMo undies and saggy mom breasts probably wouldn't go well with most of her outfits. (I don't even feel like breasts is an accurate description of my boobs anymore. Breasts just sounds too sexy. Floppy chest ornaments? Hmmm, too long. I'll think of something. But just know for a fact that I would fit right in with those naked ladies in National Geographic these days.) Seriously, look at her post baby body! Um, do I sound obsessed? She might need to get a restraining order on me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">One night after perusing her blog I literally googled "lip injections". Then, I found out that they are way expensive and don't always have the best looking or most long lasting results. So, I looked on YouTube for a tutorial on "how to make your lips appear fuller." And, I stumbled upon a drag queens video on how he/she makes his/her lips more womanly. Haha! I was so uncomfortable. And then, I died laughing. What the heck is wrong with me? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, I concluded that all us creatures with lady parts (and some without according to that YouTube video I couldn't stop watching) just want to feel pretty. And while I can only afford pretty at drug store prices (with the occasional splurge) I thought I would share my favorite things BEAUTY.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.burtsbees.com/other/back-to-school/tinted-lip-balm.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Burt's Bees Tinted Lip Balm</span></a><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YdD0DQXh6g0/UfKVLbGls8I/AAAAAAAACk0/VnhGtJi3QGA/s1600/01060-00_l_item.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img bba="true" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YdD0DQXh6g0/UfKVLbGls8I/AAAAAAAACk0/VnhGtJi3QGA/s400/01060-00_l_item.jpg" height="400" width="303" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is a new one for me, but it's been love at first lip smack. I have absolutely no pigment to my lips. We are talking Zombie lips! Therefore, my lips get hammered from wearing lipstick all of the time. I was desperate for something healing, with a little color and this is the ticket. I have the "Rose" shade. It's perfect and natural looking. "Just a kiss of color"! MUAH!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.maybelline.com/Products/Eye-Makeup/Eye-Shadow/Eye-Studio-Color-Tattoo-24HR-Cream-Gel-Shadow.aspx" target="_blank">Maybelline Color Tatoo Eye Shadow</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you use a light hand this is an excellent base. Your eyelids butt cracks (creases) don't show up ALL the live long DAY. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.maccosmetics.com/product/shaded/151/323/Eye-Kohl/index.tmpl" target="_blank">MAC Eye Kohl Eyeliner in Teddy</a></span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aVdqVs0CTU0/Ut4R5581tdI/AAAAAAAADIY/a5PSk471WU4/s1600/universally-flattering-colors-06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aVdqVs0CTU0/Ut4R5581tdI/AAAAAAAADIY/a5PSk471WU4/s1600/universally-flattering-colors-06.jpg" height="425" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is my splurge and has been my go to eyeliner for about the past 7 or 8ish years. Plus a pencil can last me a little over a year, so I consider it justified. I owe my introduction to this beauty to my mother. She has a <strike>HUGE </strike> slight makeup obsession. It is described on their website as an "intense bronze". (Really MAC? You make a bajillions of moneys and you can't find someone better to write your eyeliner descriptions?) This is actually a rich brown with a hint of deep plum and gold shimmer. Glides on like butter. If I had one item of makeup to take to my grave this would be it. </span> </div>
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<a href="http://www.revlon.com/Revlon-Home/Products/Eyes/Mascara/Revlon-Lash-Potion-Volume-Length-Mascara.aspx" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Revlon Lash Potion Mascara</span></a></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KLuVh1q23v0/Ut4Xz82LMGI/AAAAAAAADIw/gBC6_pNWlrg/s1600/revlon-lash-potion-grow-luscious-mascara.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KLuVh1q23v0/Ut4Xz82LMGI/AAAAAAAADIw/gBC6_pNWlrg/s1600/revlon-lash-potion-grow-luscious-mascara.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And, I'm ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS on the hunt for a great mascara. I usually stick to L'oreal (they have some great ones!), but I was hearing amazeballs things about this Revlon mascara, so I tried it and it is ever so wonderful! Pick up a tube, you won't regret it! Unless you're a dude. Then, just disregard this entire post. UNLESS you're the drag queen whose movie I watched, then you go for it girl! ... (guy?) </span> </div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-67828456546858057362014-01-08T00:13:00.000-07:002014-01-08T00:13:46.120-07:00New year, new post :)<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I need a fresh start. Seriously 2013 caused me to get my first prescription for Xanax. So, thank you and goodbye, 2013, you dumb whore. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I read a quote that said if you write down your goals and someone else know about them then you are like almost a bajillion times more likely to accomplish them. Here are a few things I <strike>want to</strike> will do this year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Get skinnier thighs</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Blog at least 2x a month</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">(I've also been thinking about starting a new blog. It would be about stuff I cook that is good, how to dress if you are a Mormon ie: DON'T WEAR A SLEEVELESS MAXI DRESS WITH A DOWNEAST CAP SLEEVE UNDERNEATH, Makeup that I buy that makes me look less like a crack whore and more pretty, crap like that. A little more profesh and little less personal than this one. We'll see what happens.) </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Don't get on the internet until Eva goes down for a nap</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Read more books<br />* Finish reading the Book of Mormon</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Get a new hairstyle. Ugh, I need serious help here!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Go on vacation somewhere I've never been before<br />*Throw/give away 100 things.<br />(I actually already started this one. It feels wonderful! Somewhere there is a dump full of sweet smelling Bath and Body Works crap I haven't used for years!</span><span style="font-size: large;">)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Make a weekly cleaning schedule and stick to it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Use my sewing machine</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">(got it for Christmas LAST year and it's never even escaped the box. Oopsy!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I think there are probably 5 or 6 people left who still read when I post. Keep me accountable okie doke?! </span></div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-33503982160862132492013-06-29T00:13:00.001-06:002013-06-29T00:16:04.916-06:00Is it really almost July???!!!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">What a crazy year! I want to apologize to my faithful readers because of my blogging absence. I'm not the best at it now that I don't have 8 hours a day, 5 days a week to kill at a mind numbing job! I really do love blogging and I feel like my creativity and spelling smartness are going downhill, so I would love to say that I'm reinstating blackchicken-honey, but I just can't make that promise. I'll do my best though! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's crazy to think that 18 months ago I was as big as Shamu. I know I should probably have more kids, but I'm feeling very selfish and I'm just not in the mood to grow a fetus because: A - it's tough work, B - I'm a wuss, and C- Eva NEVER STOPS! Holy crap, that girl has energy! I just can't explain it. Everyone who babysits her has a hard time keeping up, so it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who struggles. And, I've had about a million comments about how "busy" she is. Do you think "busy" is another way to say "get your child under control, you crappy mom!" We do love her a butt load though. Are you ready for a picture overload?</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--4asyfX39LU/Uc52LG4GxzI/AAAAAAAAB2U/sp2_DDyHum8/s1600/DSC01736.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--4asyfX39LU/Uc52LG4GxzI/AAAAAAAAB2U/sp2_DDyHum8/s640/DSC01736.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is the face she makes every time we put sunglasses on her. "Sup, dudes?"</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n5RHWgmGPP4/Uc52-UQzmtI/AAAAAAAAB2g/r1u9ynJBSfY/s1600/006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n5RHWgmGPP4/Uc52-UQzmtI/AAAAAAAAB2g/r1u9ynJBSfY/s640/006.JPG" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">She just looked so tiny and curled up this night. I didn't really capture the cuteness of it, but just take my word for it.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0CkvShUUH_g/Uc53AIRqLoI/AAAAAAAAB2o/_tuUusKqUg0/s1600/010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0CkvShUUH_g/Uc53AIRqLoI/AAAAAAAAB2o/_tuUusKqUg0/s640/010.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Orphan Eva, before her first haircut and after some oreos.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DR59undwxNk/Uc53UqbNQ3I/AAAAAAAAB24/vN913GL31cg/s1600/023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DR59undwxNk/Uc53UqbNQ3I/AAAAAAAAB24/vN913GL31cg/s640/023.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Helping dad</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dNSHU4Ge60k/Uc53dNVxOOI/AAAAAAAAB3A/ZO412Fy6FUQ/s1600/027.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dNSHU4Ge60k/Uc53dNVxOOI/AAAAAAAAB3A/ZO412Fy6FUQ/s640/027.JPG" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Who needs dolls? She loves her electronics! Remotes, phones, keyboards. anything with buttons.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mCc8ar6B9yo/Uc53e3goJNI/AAAAAAAAB3I/O8z_E1iLFQU/s1600/033.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mCc8ar6B9yo/Uc53e3goJNI/AAAAAAAAB3I/O8z_E1iLFQU/s640/033.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Her favorite place to take a rest.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p2w940WO3ZA/Uc53gbCWVVI/AAAAAAAAB3Q/qNJPrAp-MjQ/s1600/035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p2w940WO3ZA/Uc53gbCWVVI/AAAAAAAAB3Q/qNJPrAp-MjQ/s640/035.JPG" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">She thinks her camping chair is the shiz!</span></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fSjWqyg9TtY/Uc53qvvEU9I/AAAAAAAAB3Y/AmxwG6kr_ZY/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fSjWqyg9TtY/Uc53qvvEU9I/AAAAAAAAB3Y/AmxwG6kr_ZY/s640/001.JPG" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anything that can go around her neck is pretty to her. A couple days ago this was her necklace of choice.</span></td></tr>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-clMqtZR1ppA/Uc537qV8jTI/AAAAAAAAB3g/jTB7go9BeE0/s1600/004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-clMqtZR1ppA/Uc537qV8jTI/AAAAAAAAB3g/jTB7go9BeE0/s640/004.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And, here she is modeling her mermaid jammies and her breakfast banana. I love how she always crosses her legs in her high chair!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">She makes me laugh, and want to tear my hair out, and smile, and almost curl up in a ball and cry every day. </span></div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-75214769931740300142013-02-18T23:05:00.003-07:002013-02-18T23:26:36.783-07:00I love the internet.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Confession: I HATE to do dishes. I loathe the dishes. I would rather scrub a million dirty toilets than do the dishes. And, I swear they never stop. Even if I don't cook anything all day, I have to start the dishwasher at least once. How I lived, like, 2 years without a dishwasher is beyond me. I raise my dish-washed glass to the Amish. You go!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> So, anyway. I will <strike>always</strike> occasionally let my pans soak in the sink for a night or two.... (or five).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> And then, this happens.</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZFMLCiU5JMU/USMQQYb8mwI/AAAAAAAAAq8/H1k7REPPoR0/s1600/DSC01689.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZFMLCiU5JMU/USMQQYb8mwI/AAAAAAAAAq8/H1k7REPPoR0/s640/DSC01689.JPG" width="640" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YAZz99CIXnY/USMQOBHhKkI/AAAAAAAAAq0/Y0CogpFA0g4/s1600/DSC01687.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YAZz99CIXnY/USMQOBHhKkI/AAAAAAAAAq0/Y0CogpFA0g4/s640/DSC01687.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yeah, you can judge me. I'm filthy. I'm a filthy, filthy girl. I need a spanking. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I used to just live with these stupid rust rings in my sink, waiting until they would disappear. Until one day I Googled (really spell check, "googled" isn't a word? Get with the times!) "How to get rust stains out of a white sink" and the Google God's introduced me to:</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KfavDWY9V0A/USMR3HaoOLI/AAAAAAAAArI/BZpT6jQpPWQ/s1600/DSC01693.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KfavDWY9V0A/USMR3HaoOLI/AAAAAAAAArI/BZpT6jQpPWQ/s640/DSC01693.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Talk about a poisonous, fume filled, little miracle in a bottle. I love it! Now, as you can see, just a couple little squirts on the rust spots and.... wait for it...</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qm0HpuzrbM8/USMSawqehuI/AAAAAAAAArY/zkWEURKMBmU/s1600/DSC01688.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qm0HpuzrbM8/USMSawqehuI/AAAAAAAAArY/zkWEURKMBmU/s640/DSC01688.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nY_JJDH1hXE/USMSd3XXNeI/AAAAAAAAArg/B-KA8LYFQ-U/s1600/DSC01691.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nY_JJDH1hXE/USMSd3XXNeI/AAAAAAAAArg/B-KA8LYFQ-U/s640/DSC01691.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The stains are pretty much gone! No scrubbing. Like I said, a poisonous miracle, right?! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then, I just do a little touch up with my bald BF, Mr. Clean and his Magic Eraser (this post has me wondering if I'm slowly killing us with all the chemicals I put in my kitchen sink) and the sink now shines like the top of the Chrysler building! Name that show. I will give you $1.</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AaKrwoghm84/USMTeudJUtI/AAAAAAAAArs/X5MdNuTyqmY/s1600/DSC01692.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AaKrwoghm84/USMTeudJUtI/AAAAAAAAArs/X5MdNuTyqmY/s640/DSC01692.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hope my little tip helps all you d!rty girls out there!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And because no blog of mine is complete w/o a little Diva action, here you go!</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lg9b63WUT4A/USMUi6dXwNI/AAAAAAAAAsA/4cVxQUkdJS8/s1600/DSC01683.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lg9b63WUT4A/USMUi6dXwNI/AAAAAAAAAsA/4cVxQUkdJS8/s640/DSC01683.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-79354136453666550142013-01-31T23:13:00.000-07:002013-02-01T09:03:02.304-07:00Update on the Darling Diva<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Guess what this post is going to be about. I'll wait..... ok, I'll give you the answer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">EVA</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I usually sit on the computer while she is cries herself to sleep for her afternoon nap. Just to make sure the whining doesn't turn into blood curdling screams and self induced vomiting. I decided today that I would dedicate a little post to her. So, here goes!</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Pekfn1J4DI/UQnwQvg40AI/AAAAAAAAAqE/0k6KhNAIeyo/s1600/DSC01611.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Pekfn1J4DI/UQnwQvg40AI/AAAAAAAAAqE/0k6KhNAIeyo/s640/DSC01611.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">* She turned one at the end of December</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">* She still LOVES the Lion King, nothing else can touch it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">* She loves to read. Sometimes she'll just lay on her back with a book propped up in the air with her hands, flip the pages, and talk to herself. Adorbs!</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6RJ_J-ON_-k/UQtbtr3X0pI/AAAAAAAAAqg/DdWQLNY7ly8/s1600/DSC01523-001a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6RJ_J-ON_-k/UQtbtr3X0pI/AAAAAAAAAqg/DdWQLNY7ly8/s640/DSC01523-001a.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J6Bh4G2zRwU/UQXNRM13NsI/AAAAAAAAApo/5MNZpuoJYBE/s1600/DSC01674.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">* She's not a big talker. She says, mama, dada, hello, and up. She also says ca ca. I thought it was just a baby word for gross, but Derrick let me know that it's the S word in Spanish. Who needs Dora when you have an awesome bilingual parent like me? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Maybe she is so quiet because she is ALWAYS busy making messes </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*She is really weird about food right now. She will refuse to eat what she LOVED the day before. Then, I'll put her down and she'll eat ANYTHING that she can find on the floor. It's a daily struggle. I'll probably just start putting her meals down there. She never fights me with yogurt and chicken noodle soup though. Oh, and as the next picture will tell you she doesn't fight me with chocolate either.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">*She is getting to be a pretty good walker, but would still rather crawl.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Her favorite toys are our phones. She holds everything up to her ear and pretends it's a phone. It's totally presh!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*She gives high fives, shakes her head no, puts her hands up for "touchdown", still gives the best open mouth slobber kisses, and still loves to cuddle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That is all for today! Until next time peeps.</span></div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-87840237131088609472012-11-05T10:39:00.000-07:002012-11-05T10:45:44.789-07:00Nelly ain't Got Nothin on Me<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">My mom wanted all of our family to write a letter to Dylan to read while he was flying out to Washington. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here is the rap I promised to post. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Tupac lives within me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yo! Yo! What up Bro?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm just livin' the dirty life, but I ain't no ho!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know you're sittin' on a plane, just killin' time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So I'll facilitate you, and provide this rhyme.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">All your bags are packed, you've got a full canteen,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now it's time to get in the missionary routine!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You gotta get up early and hit those knees!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Do some pushups, and give your killa' guns a squeeze!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Get your butt outside and hop on your dope hog.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't forge your helmet to protect your nog'!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You're lookin like a boss in your suit and tie.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You're dressed to kill, you're super fly!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Investigataz and hataz best watch out in the WA,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Cuz here comes a bad A, DYLAN RAY!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Instead of poppin' caps, you'll be bustin' out scriptcha!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And, I'll pray that the Holy Ghost be with cha!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ain't no need to get skurr and have a whack attack,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">cuz you're homeboy Jesus has got your back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now go out there, and spread the word.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The gospel is the shiz, ain't ya heard?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We're proud of you Dyl, Way to be!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Love - Me, Big D, & Eva Marie</span></div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-70006680040729504102012-11-02T23:41:00.001-06:002012-11-05T10:49:37.953-07:00Psycho!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I've turned into a homebody. It's just better for my sanity if we stay home. When we need to go out for more than an hour, I literally almost always have a panic attack trying to get ready and I'm ALWAYS late! Do you think it's time I embrace the crazy and start to medicate? I hate packing up diapers and wipes and worrying about feeding Eva and her nap time and all that baby stuff. And, I swear she poops right when I'm about to put her in the car. Plus, I'm still breastfeeding and I'm just not that comfy with pulling my fun bags out for the world to see. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, if you come to my church it's a rare occasion if you DON'T see boobies! Every Sunday I'm just waiting for National Geographic to show up. Derrick's never wanted to go to church more! Some mom's are pretty good about it, but others just let them flop all over the place! It's insane to me. Like, seriously, go in the Mother's Room! That's what it is there for. Oh yeah, and while I'm on the "Mother's Room" don't throw your kids poopy diapers in there. Honestly people have some respect! </span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm sure people will read this and be like "It's beautiful and natural. Wah Wah Wah." I totally agree, and trust me, if there is anyone that's okay with nakedness, it's me. I massage naked people ALL. THE. TIME. I had to get naked at massage school every day for 7 months, but when I was growing up I was taught that boobs are a private part and I'm pretty sure my parents would have been disappointed if I had gone around flashing them in public, especially at church. So, why is it different if there is a baby attached?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm obviously rambling like a crazy person. I'll tell you a secret (I'm on a pain pill) shhhh! I'm not abusing though. I was in real pain! Not anymore! Apparently I'm either angry or really stupid when I take pain meds. I guess today is an angry day.</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Let me tell you a little tale about the last time I had an angry day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was Sunday night. The next day was Labor day. Around 10 PM I noticed some unusual lights coming from outside. There were some people running around outside with flashlights. I decided to stay up for a while and write my brother, Elder Anderson, a rap. (Pretty sure that's where the stupid comes in, but it did turn out pretty awesome! I'll post it later.) </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Around 11:30 I decided to retire to my bedroom. The window was open and my dear husband was sleeping soundly. As I tried to drift off into sweet slumber I hear loud laughter and screaming from out my window. I try to shake it off and re-enter dream mode. This goes on for another half an hour. I decide to get up and shut the window, in hopes that the annoying people outside will hear it and take a hint. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The laughter and shrieking of stupid college kids continues to disturb my peace. It is now 12:30. This has gone on long enough! I get up, put on some of Derrick's basketball shorts and a T-shirt, and stomp downstairs. I unlock the door, step outside and witness around 7 grown adults standing in a circle with flashlight pointed at the ground. They have fallen silent at the sight of me. (I probably looked like a midget in Derrick's shorts. They always make me go quiet and stare too.) And then, the crazy person inside of me unleashed!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I said, "HEY! I'VE GOT A BABY IN THERE AND A HUSBAND WHO HAS TO GET UP IN 4 HOURS! COULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET!!!!" And some stupid kid says, "sorry." And I said, in the most exasperated/annoyed tone I could muster, "THANK YOU!". And shut my door. And they shut-up. And I officially became the psycho who lives in number 163. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">(I don't really live in 163, I just don't dare put my real number on here. So, don't go looking for me there.) </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This post was going to be about Halloween. I don't know what happened. </span></div>
Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-29271465388523851972012-10-16T11:43:00.000-06:002013-01-11T22:09:10.691-07:00Drama for your Mama!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I haven't transitioned into motherhood all that well. I don't know what the heck my deal is. It just hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a mom. I just think I suck at it. I mean I've already let her fall off the bed and burn herself with my flat iron. I'm shocked I'm not in prison. And Derelict is already ready for another one! Haha, I think he's taking crazy pills. So, the blog has been put at the bottom of the priority list. Now I spend my time <strike>on pinterest </strike>cooking or cleaning or wiping a tiny diva's butt. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Eva Marie is 9 and 1/2 months old. Is that totes cray cray or what?! I swear being pregnant for nine months went by WAY slower than these last nine months have. It makes me so sad. I just want her to stay little forever! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Is anyone in the mood for a little Diva brag sesh?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She claps (adorable)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She gives kisses</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves to be sung to</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves her face tickled</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves to read books</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She is a total cuddlebug</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She crawls</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">She pulls herself up to stand</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She has one teeny tooth</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves to bonk heads</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She doesn't cry when she gets hurt, she growls</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She strikes a sexy pose</span><br />
(the only picture I have of sexy pose is in the bathtub. Sorry pervs!)<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves her legs massaged</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves to eat yogurt, sweet potatoes and peaches, and pumpkin</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves the tub</span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cJZfl6lz_Zc/UH2bQieskMI/AAAAAAAAAm8/_MdaNYLhbO0/s1600/006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cJZfl6lz_Zc/UH2bQieskMI/AAAAAAAAAm8/_MdaNYLhbO0/s640/006.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">She can give low 5's</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She can wave bye bye</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves the Lion King</span><br />
(yes, I let her watch TV. It will be ok. As an infant I loved Dirty Dancing and Rock and Roll Mom. I'm totally fine)<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She says Mamamamamamamama</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She whispers bababababababa</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She doesn't really like toys</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She loves cell phones, cords, tags, and paper</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And here are some funny pics</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Static Electricity! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Uncle Gordon and their matching hairdo</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Crib Wedgie</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Eucerin Face</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We lurve her!</span><br />
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-69482771921002120592012-08-07T18:52:00.000-06:002012-08-07T18:52:32.971-06:00Speak Eva, Speak!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This is how Eva was talking for like a week. She didn't do it very good on the video, but this is the best I could do! :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-68331223399395067182012-06-02T21:54:00.000-06:002012-06-04T12:20:07.551-06:00Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Preface: When you read the favorite things editions, you must read/think in a British accent because that is the voice I typed it in. </span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Hello, and welcome all to the first edition on my favorite things. Today's topic will be my favorite <b>baby</b> things. Fitting, no?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have been a mother for five months, so obviously I'm an expert. And because I have a wealth of knowledge and a crap load of friends that will be pushing babies out of their poor va-jay-jay's soon, I thought I'd share a few things that have saved the single shred of sanity that I have left. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Tons of people tell me that they feel overwhelmed when shopping for their first baby. Here's are some tips you might find helpful:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> ***Avoid Babies R Us like the plague! A sick, puss filled, oozing, hacking plague. I didn't step foot in Babies R Us until I was 8 months pregnant. We already had everything we needed and we were broke, so I only had a teeny urge to spend our life savings.***</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">***Wait until AFTER your baby shower to buy toys, clothes, burp cloths, bibs, blankets, etc. This is a tough one, but it can be done!***</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">***Borrow, Borrow, Borrow! And if you can't borrow it, buy it used and sanitize the shiz out of it! It doesn't make you stingy. It means you're smart. Baby stuff only lasts so long, takes up a lot of space, and is EXPENSIVE. There are tons of people on KSL trying to get rid of their baby crap.***</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>*The Straight Jacket* </b></span> <br />
<span style="font-size: large;">(It's actually called the SwaddleMe, but let's call a spade a spade)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Why it saved our lives - It keeps the baby swaddled which provides them with comfort and a looooooooong nights sleep (10-12 hrs for my bambina), It keeps the baby warm, You don't have to worry about the baby becoming unswaddled and suffocating like you will with a regular blanket.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The only hard thing about this was trying to ween her off of it. The night I took it away I swear she woke up 10 times. It turns out I was taking it away too early. I gave her another month and tried again and now she's sleeping just fine. </span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qHhwIEzuUu0/T8p4GwlTKvI/AAAAAAAAAkw/r7lzMHrAmKk/s1600/007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qHhwIEzuUu0/T8p4GwlTKvI/AAAAAAAAAkw/r7lzMHrAmKk/s640/007.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>*White Noise*</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Everything I read said white noise would help babies sleep longer, and because I'm a sleep whore I had to investigate. I found this little gem of a site that lets you download white noise MP3's.</span><br />
<a href="http://cantonbecker.com/music/white-noise-sleep-sounds/mp3s.php">http://cantonbecker.com/music/white-noise-sleep-sounds/mp3s.php</a> <br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I downloaded them on my iPod, put that sucker on repeat, and play it in her room all night long. Way cheaper than buying a $50 noise machine! (are you still reading with an accent?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>*The SnotSucker*</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't vomit.</span><span style="font-size: large;">Being a mother is gross, you just need to accept it and get over it.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">This thing is the bomb DOT com. If you don't believe me look up the reviews on Amazon. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ee4y0-tiY6c/T8p88Wy0WnI/AAAAAAAAAk8/fUHJZqKTLVw/s1600/41Hn13NMAyL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ee4y0-tiY6c/T8p88Wy0WnI/AAAAAAAAAk8/fUHJZqKTLVw/s400/41Hn13NMAyL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>*The JJ Cole Carseat Blanket*</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The reasons why I love this are three fold. It keeps Eva warm and snuggly, I don't have to take a blanket everywhere I go, and because she has a severe pooping problem and sometimes it leaks out of her pants and everything. SO SICK! Anyway, this has been great because when poop disaster strikes, I don't have to tear apart the whole carseat to clean it. I just have to wash the blanket. SCORE! </span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-san1cHitaMU/T8res-F9BJI/AAAAAAAAAl4/XbiKVe2Bd5I/s1600/DSC01301.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-san1cHitaMU/T8res-F9BJI/AAAAAAAAAl4/XbiKVe2Bd5I/s640/DSC01301.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <b>*Hyland's Teething Tablets*</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The Diva is still toothless, but I can tell when her gums hurt (or I just want her to shutup so I drug her). I had a few people recommend these teething tablets to me, so i gave them a shot. They are all natural, dissolvable, magical, and available at your local Wal-Mart. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-59JxnDYaPZg/T8qFPopwBLI/AAAAAAAAAlI/s9MK6M9-Z5U/s1600/HY163_Xl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-59JxnDYaPZg/T8qFPopwBLI/AAAAAAAAAlI/s9MK6M9-Z5U/s320/HY163_Xl.jpg" width="245" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>*The Bath Sponge*</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This is a muy bueno alternative to a plastic tub because it was only $8, it just looks pretty comfy, and it doesn't take a lot of space to store it. I make sure and put a wash cloth under her booty, just in case!</span><br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--biv4MhWeRg/T8qtpigsXcI/AAAAAAAAAls/LJGUZBkEIQg/s1600/modest+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--biv4MhWeRg/T8qtpigsXcI/AAAAAAAAAls/LJGUZBkEIQg/s640/modest+(1).JPG" width="426" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-51680203003786711672012-04-23T12:37:00.000-06:002012-04-23T12:40:05.082-06:00The Freakin Weekend<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Here's The Cute, The Good, The Wonderful, The Awesome, The Bad, The Ugly, and the Terrible.... And a weird dream story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Cute - Eva's hair. She has some rough weekends.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FNVMlhoRAHQ/T5WE7CRIbPI/AAAAAAAAAkM/ueHxJZMPosk/s1600/058.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FNVMlhoRAHQ/T5WE7CRIbPI/AAAAAAAAAkM/ueHxJZMPosk/s640/058.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Good - Eva rolled over from her front to her back like a bajillion times. She did it twice back in January, but hasn't since. This is her "I know how to get 'er done" face.</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FcEKr0EX_wQ/T5WFVebwUFI/AAAAAAAAAkU/ckZhVxsiB7s/s1600/025.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FcEKr0EX_wQ/T5WFVebwUFI/AAAAAAAAAkU/ckZhVxsiB7s/s640/025.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> The Wonderful - Derrick got to spend the whole weekend with us! That literally hasn't happened since I calved in the hospital. We got to take naps, and eat dinner together, go on a drive, and hang with some friends. That might sound lame to you, but it was neato to me. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S1WHv2dURDA/T5WHSaHJENI/AAAAAAAAAkc/6FotgPEKnCo/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S1WHv2dURDA/T5WHSaHJENI/AAAAAAAAAkc/6FotgPEKnCo/s640/001.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Awesome - I finally won something on Ebay! I've been trying forev, but freakin' fetchers keep outbidding me! It's a swimsuit for Eva. Brand new for $7.60. Woop!</span>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jOo_w-iV7O0/T5WDkJv-y1I/AAAAAAAAAkE/9Q9zbh4fBNY/s1600/SummerFloralOnePieceSwims1210178393_big.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jOo_w-iV7O0/T5WDkJv-y1I/AAAAAAAAAkE/9Q9zbh4fBNY/s640/SummerFloralOnePieceSwims1210178393_big.jpg" width="504" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The Ugly - Eva has acid reflux. I got done feeding her yesterday, picked her up and kissed her cuteness. She totally threw up in my mouth. It was absolutely disgusting. I had baby puke in my mouth, running down my chin, in my hair, everywhere! On the plus side, it wasn't chunky and breast milk doesn't taste too bad! No pictures of this disaster. Sorry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Terrible - We talked to one of our future neighbors and he told us he killed seven rattlesnakes last year. That's right SEVEN RATTLESNAKES. He said one was four feet long and had eleven rattles. I'm skurred. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IyDuIchVAiA/T5WfmCE0UWI/AAAAAAAAAkk/JXQGAm_BM-M/s1600/picture-023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="470" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IyDuIchVAiA/T5WfmCE0UWI/AAAAAAAAAkk/JXQGAm_BM-M/s640/picture-023.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Dream - This didn't happen this weekend, but I thought it was worth sharing since rattlesnakes are obviously going to plague my existence. Ever since my boobies started making milk I can feel little vibrations in them. Well, one night I dreamed that I swallowed two rattlesnakes and they both slithered into each boob. Then, when they would shake their rattles that's what would make my boobs vibrate. WTFreak right?! So weird. </span></div>
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<br /></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-25822588690641614472012-04-19T17:17:00.000-06:002012-04-19T19:28:53.765-06:00Blog Revival!!!<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">NEWSFLASH!!!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Having a baby is rough.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm talking kick you in the crotch rough.<br />And that's pretty much literal depending on which way you deliver.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, please excuse the lack of blogging, because apparently I'm not the type who can just "bounce back". I still have a hard time making it to the grocery store before 5:00 and Eva is three months old!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> It seriously took me two days to write this. Bla. I'm in a writing rut. Let's see some pictures that prove I have birthed a Diva.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Exhibit A: She was born with highlights</span><span style="font-size: 100%;">.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 100%;"><img alt="" border="0" height="426" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5732907451418702978" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XHonKwh3sgM/T49g8-wAdII/AAAAAAAAAic/Au5e37OJT7c/s640/400275_3061398614381_1245919225_33373052_2120752472_n.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px;" width="640" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Exhibit B: She poses herself when she sleeps.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OUgbzwF_omE/T49g-UxzSAI/AAAAAAAAAio/09elURiNDpk/s1600/513.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><img alt="" border="0" height="426" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5732907485351395058" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uftyEk2ejNs/T49g-9KMPvI/AAAAAAAAAi0/10Obe4OyQ4A/s640/528.JPG" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Exhibit C: She tans.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GXhc0o4eO9E/T5Bb91iuvpI/AAAAAAAAAjU/L0uA8SSjqLo/s1600/513.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GXhc0o4eO9E/T5Bb91iuvpI/AAAAAAAAAjU/L0uA8SSjqLo/s640/513.JPG" width="426" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Exhibit D: She knows how to be dramatic</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_qXG_AcXbmw/T5CAc7ptqwI/AAAAAAAAAjc/tbmX6VNqvOI/s1600/408743_3069238610376_1245919225_33376904_1695838991_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_qXG_AcXbmw/T5CAc7ptqwI/AAAAAAAAAjc/tbmX6VNqvOI/s640/408743_3069238610376_1245919225_33376904_1695838991_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Exhibit D: She clutches her binki holder like a purse.</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AXTQ_vJe7iE/T5CBBLXsQGI/AAAAAAAAAjk/ev5MWejn-tg/s1600/592.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AXTQ_vJe7iE/T5CBBLXsQGI/AAAAAAAAAjk/ev5MWejn-tg/s640/592.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And Exhibit E: Here she is practicing for her debut in the chubby version of Dirty Dancing.</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0eKkMVpEn3o/T5CbYWW10yI/AAAAAAAAAjs/MG1W8dMZBaA/s1600/004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0eKkMVpEn3o/T5CbYWW10yI/AAAAAAAAAjs/MG1W8dMZBaA/s640/004.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LYmajhzQr_c/T5Cbgge_gZI/AAAAAAAAAj0/Gboke4pV2g8/s1600/005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LYmajhzQr_c/T5Cbgge_gZI/AAAAAAAAAj0/Gboke4pV2g8/s640/005.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Nobody puts baby in a corner"</span></div>
</div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-2310640833503104362011-11-25T14:00:00.001-07:002011-11-26T19:59:40.873-07:00If you're happy and you know it clap your (fat )hands!<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">I don't have much to say, but I need something to do so I'm jotting down some LOL's from the peeps in my life lately. Maybe they will make you laugh. Maybe you had to be there.</span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"Any of the ones that might even look attractive are all full of <strong>styrofoam</strong>!"<br />- My Grandma Babe talking about boobs. </span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"I knew they were <strong>jackin us off</strong>!"<br />-Someones mom talking about shopping </span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"Oh, is that where they all got sent to those <strong>penetration</strong> camps?"<br />-My BFF talking about the holocaust</span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"Ok, I'll have a number 2 and I want it <strong>doggy</strong> style"<br />- My work friend trying to order her burger at In N Out</span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">And here's a prego update.</span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">1- There is no ladylike way to get out of a car in a dress when you're 8 months pregnant. If anyone has been watching me today I know for a fact that they got a nice garment peep show because I'm not even attempting to make my car exits pretty.</span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">2 - I will no longer leave the water running when I brush my teeth because every night when I try to heave myself from bed to pee for the bajillionth time, I have more and more sympathy for beached whales. SAVE THE WHALES PEOPLE! </span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">3- My fingers are so swollen! I hate it. It looks like I have 5 teeny weenies on each hand. Everytime I look down at them I swear it's like looking at some weird homo porno. Who wants a special handshake?! </span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">4 - I quit faking it last week. No, I'm not talking about the sexuals. I'll keep you guessing on that one. I'm talking about how I'm a total beeotch. It's a known fact that I possess severe intolerance for most people, but I can hide it pretty well. I've been a receptionist for 5 years, for crying out loud! I've pretty much got a bachelors in acting by now. Well, I think those 5 years of fakeness combined with a rapid 30 pound weight gain have done me in. I could snap and kill someone at any minute. A guy at work put a pen back in my pen cup today and I was totally pissed at him for it. I didn't even say thanks. I just glared at him so hard he probably crapped his pants from confusion and nervousness. Nevermind that he was doing me a favor and returning a pen he borrowed. He was in my personal space and he shouldn't be taking my stuff in the first place</span><span style="font-size:130%;">! So, save yourselves! Send me to the looney bin and put me in a straight jacket. (good luck finding one that fits!)</span> </div></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-20613028569474826152011-11-18T14:26:00.009-07:002011-11-18T14:37:32.769-07:00Usually it's not the thought that counts, it's what I want that counts.<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Guess what?! It's my baby's baby shower tomorrow! EEEEEEEEEEE! BAAAAAAAAA! She's so excited she's making me pee my pants everytime I sneeze or cough or laugh or blow my nose! Who wants white underwear when you can have yellow? If you forgot to get me a present here are few ideas!<br />(courtesy of pinterest) </span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sHsmhlliIPM/TsbNvyNaIXI/AAAAAAAAAhs/4DhshekULLM/s1600/60517188712292074_LN7X83JG_c.jpg"><span style="font-size:130%;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 319px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 214px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676450601162645874" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sHsmhlliIPM/TsbNvyNaIXI/AAAAAAAAAhs/4DhshekULLM/s400/60517188712292074_LN7X83JG_c.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"> etsy.com<br /></span><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9pzPzfHeEow/TsbNsNp6EgI/AAAAAAAAAhg/IUQywTH2cxM/s1600/60517188712344833_bq7oii2p_c.jpg"><span style="font-size:130%;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 266px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676450539810460162" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9pzPzfHeEow/TsbNsNp6EgI/AAAAAAAAAhg/IUQywTH2cxM/s400/60517188712344833_bq7oii2p_c.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"> dailydawdle.com<br /><br /><br /></span><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z3FYav6GBTc/TsbNo-yTGCI/AAAAAAAAAhU/DUzkFP4QHF4/s1600/52776626852797868_D2iAwOKq_c.jpg"><span style="font-size:130%;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 328px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 321px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676450484279515170" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z3FYav6GBTc/TsbNo-yTGCI/AAAAAAAAAhU/DUzkFP4QHF4/s400/52776626852797868_D2iAwOKq_c.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"> opinionatedbaby.com<br /></span></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-40867835529157660812011-11-10T17:43:00.003-07:002011-11-10T17:54:23.280-07:00And her name shall be....<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">So we're trying to decide what to name the fetus.... I need opinions with every decision I make for some reason, so if you could kindly let me know what your numero uno is, I'd love to know! Middle names can be interchangeable, but I think I've got my fave combos down.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">* Afton Lily Bodine<br />(Afton is Derrick's pick. Lily is Derrick's great grandma's name)</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">*Kendall Reese Bodine<br />(I like this name, so does the sperm donor. Reese is short for Teresa who is Derrick's mother aka MOBO(Mother Bodine))</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">*MarKel Marie Bodine<br />(I like MarKel, Derrick isn't hot on it. Marie is Derrick's gma's middle name)</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">*Autumn Ella Bodine<br />(We're both fans of Autum. Ella is short for my grandma's middle name which is Fordella... she was birthed in a Ford!)</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Whatcha think peeps?! </span></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-91931173504038308942011-10-20T11:34:00.007-06:002011-10-20T13:41:44.477-06:00Would you like suckle of my zipple?<div align="center">I've been going through pictures lately and I'm starting to think Derrick has a problem.</div><br /><div align="center"><br /></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665661062333755298" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CG5utPTKSNE/TqB4t94qb6I/AAAAAAAAAgk/1GKXGvJu8lQ/s400/232323232%257Ffp432___nu%253D323__2_9_773_WSNRCG%253D323393_974_5_nu0mrj.jpg" /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KQIZceY4H6M/TqB4rNH64SI/AAAAAAAAAgY/THh6WKM-PEw/s1600/232323232%257Ffp432_%253B_nu%253D323__2_9_773_WSNRCG%253D323393_965599nu0mrj.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665661014884671778" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KQIZceY4H6M/TqB4rNH64SI/AAAAAAAAAgY/THh6WKM-PEw/s400/232323232%257Ffp432_%253B_nu%253D323__2_9_773_WSNRCG%253D323393_965599nu0mrj.jpg" /></a> <img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665660881366482642" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-warv1QYWspU/TqB4jbus_tI/AAAAAAAAAgM/U9bqz55B0SE/s400/232323232%257Ffp432_%253B_nu%253D323__2_9_773_WSNRCG%253D32646_47%253B8326nu0mrj.jpg" /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665660733462468178" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uMpkRPNaRNc/TqB4a0vo1lI/AAAAAAAAAgA/0L-O1m4ZCyE/s400/232323232%257Ffp37%253Dot_2323%253D884%253D426%253D323288433593%253Bnu0mrj.jpg" /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665660676852977698" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DpL2O95-Ov0/TqB4Xh24kCI/AAAAAAAAAf0/vIQmgpnsPNY/s400/232323232%257Ffp37%253Dot_232%253B%253D39_%253D864%253DXROQDF_23237935457%253B2ot1lsi.jpg" />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-15561216602559937242011-09-01T14:29:00.005-06:002011-09-01T18:00:41.963-06:00Here's to September<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Holy crap, this month sucked. </span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">BUT I have had a ton of help from friends and fam and especially my pooky. I'm glad people love me even though I'm a crazy psycho.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">I'll give you a run down just in case you missed out on the fun.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">1. I ruin the only vacation I've been on in two years for me and everyone else there.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">2. I have terrible kidney pain. Go to the ER twice, see 5 doctors, and get a CT scan. The verdict? You're pregnant so you'll have to suffer until the baby comes. Sucks for you. Derrick has to watch me scream and writhe in pain for a good two weeks. </span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">3. Because of the pain I'm on drugs. My work decides they don't want me on drugs doing accounting. DEMOTION. I am the receptionist again.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">4. I try a home remedy for kidney stones. 1/3 cup olive oil and 1/3 cup lemon juice. I chug that shiz down and am so stoked that I could actually do it! Two hours later I wake up to pee, go to the sink to wash my hands and freaking barf up EVERYTHING I ate that day into said sink. Now it won't drain and it's 1:30 in the morning... I've never dealt with a clogged sink before so I wake Derrick up. Big mistake. It might have been wiser for me to slit my wrists and watch myself bleed to death. He's obviously in no mood to help me so I grab a cup and a bowl from the kitchen and start scooping vomit into the bowl until I find the blockage. </span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Keep in mind that Lortab has been a steady part of my diet about every 2-3 hours and it's late so I'm not really all there... instead of dumping the puke in the toilet I decide to take it downstairs and run it through the disposal. I turn the switch on, puke dissapears, I go back to my nice comfy bed, right?! Umm no I flip the switch to shut the dang disposal off and it's still running. I flip it again and again and again and it won't turn off. Now, Derrick has decided to wake from hibernation... He screams profanity (at the situation, not at me) and turns the power off. I lay on the kitchen floor and bawl for a good 20 minutes. Turns out we had a bad switch. </span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">5. Derelict stretches his arms out on the couch and knocks over my scentsy on our end table. Purple wax on the walls, in the carpet, on the lamp... EVERYWHERE.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">6. I take Derrick's car to run an errand. When I pull into the garage I hit his mirror on the garage and kind of break it... oopsy. I'm not used to pulling in on his side. We get in a fight about it outside. The relief society prez lives right next to us. With all the screaming from the kidney stones and the fighting outside she probably expects to find one of us murdered someday.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">7. I go in the house to do the dishes while Derrick tries to fix his mirror. I'm fuming. I turn on the kitchen faucet and it breaks... I can't turn the water off to save my life. I crawl in the sink and beat the living crap out of it trying to get the water to stop running. I swear my face off and I start bawling again. Derrick comes in and fixes it with ease. I go upstairs and cry myself to sleep.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">8. I get a flat tire.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">9. I notice my innie is turning outie. I truly thought I might be exempt from this one... I have a slight panic attack. I know I'm pathetic.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">10. Yesterday, the last day of August. I come home from lunch. Derrick has been playing with knives. He has meat hanging out of his fingers. We go to Instacare and get him some stitches. I think we need Aflac.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">PLUS my baby brother moved away to college. We tried to go to Bear Lake to Pickleville Playhouse for our anniversary, get over there and the play is sold out. My parents dog got ran over and I didn't even get a fair burger this year. :(</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">It's a good thing I've been practically inebriated most of the month. </span></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-88007610465311677312011-08-30T11:30:00.007-06:002011-08-30T12:34:05.398-06:00I'm taking up drinking for fun.<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">My vacations bite the weenie. </span></div>
<br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>First weenie bite: 2007 - Oceanside California.
<br /></strong>While frolicking in the ocean I get stung by a sting ray. Ended up in the ER. </span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 377px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 214px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646706798392534898" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DW2Dd2LgD-A/Tl0h6mT4Z3I/AAAAAAAAAfU/FHr1HRU0Thg/s400/DSCN2120%255B1%255D.JPG" /></span>
<br /><p align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Second weenie bite: 2008 - White Plains, New York
<br /></strong>Anaphlyactic Reaction to unkown substace. Another ER visit. You can read all about it </span><a href="http://blackchicken-honey.blogspot.com/2008/10/mother-knows-best.html"><span style="font-size:130%;">here .</span></a></p><span style="font-size:130%;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646708679191688018" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G6EEys4elgY/Tl0joE1V81I/AAAAAAAAAfc/U784lTW2CK8/s400/New%2BImage.JPG" /></span>
<br /><p align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Third weenie bite: 2009 - Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
<br /></strong>Our honeymoon. We hunker down in one room with the entire resort and brace ourselves for Hurricane Jimena. We talked to our parents on the phone the ENTIRE trip. I call interference! Not my idea of romance, but I guess if we had been thinking straight we could have started a resort orgy or something.... Next time. </span></p><span style="font-size:130%;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646712888501481234" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hO8RuKm6Dd8/Tl0ndFvALxI/AAAAAAAAAfs/gyUR2d8475A/s400/P9010928%255B1%255D.JPG" />
<br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646712173000669842" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Xx9iWnuymf8/Tl0mzcSUOpI/AAAAAAAAAfk/gEnV1fDshC8/s400/P9010922.JPG" /></span>
<br /><p align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Fourth weenie bite: 2011 - Flaming Gorge, UT
<br /></strong>We're on a boating trip with friends. </span><span style="font-size:130%;">
<br /><strong>Day 1</strong> we search all freaking day for a campground and when we finally get set up and want to start boating and it rains all. freaking. night.
<br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Day 2</strong> is wonderful.</span><span style="font-size:130%;">
<br /><strong>Day 3</strong> I wake up with pain in my back I've never experienced before. I figure it's just a cramp from sleeping on the air mattress and try to change positions to will it away... I try and try and try. No luck. The pain escalates and starts hurting in my stomach. I figure my fetus is dying inside my body and panic. The nearest ER is almost 2 hours away. I'm screaming and bawling and the entire campground wonders what kind of animal is dying and if it's time to shoot it at this point.</span></p>
<br /><p align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">My friends are running all over calling doctors and rounding up the boat and I'm still in panic mode. Dry heaving, puking up stomach acid, swallowing cry snot.... We make it to the ER and they tell me I'm <em>probably</em> having gall bladder problems and send us away with a $2800 bill. (I went back to ER a couple days later and found out I ACTUALLY have kidney stones. Freakin Evanston.) Everyone packs up and goes home a day early because of me.</span></p>
<br /><p align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">I hate me.</span></p>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-59647318661774403932011-08-19T13:42:00.003-06:002011-08-19T13:48:48.498-06:00Get in My Belly!!!<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">This pretty much sums up why I am not getting maternity pics taken.</span></div>
<br /><div align="center"></div>
<br /><div align="center"></div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PtOj7p66ebo/Tk69uQ-7chI/AAAAAAAAAfM/A6yufHaLwpU/s1600/123082172_v8UVynnJ_c.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642655985672352274" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PtOj7p66ebo/Tk69uQ-7chI/AAAAAAAAAfM/A6yufHaLwpU/s400/123082172_v8UVynnJ_c.jpg" /></a>
<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-45505160059998986592011-06-21T11:05:00.005-06:002011-06-22T21:48:08.878-06:00This Heifer's Gonna Calf!<div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Most of you who read this already know, but for those of you who don't... </span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">IT'S BABY TIME AT THE BODINE'S</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">We heard the heartbeat yesterday so I figured it was safe to tell EVERYONE. Plus, i</span><span style="font-size:130%;">t's not official until you tell the internet right?!</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Cravings?<br />None. If I could stop throwing up and get that sick taste out of my mouth I'm sure I'd be craving something. It's just not like me to not want to eat. I don't even know who I am anymore. The only thing that is different preference wise is that I used to like my water at room temp. NO ICE. Now I like it ice cold. It's like taking a nice, disturbed sip of Edward Cullen. "What's cooler than bein cool? ICE COLD!! alright, alright, alright alright, alright, alright!" (FYI for those who are over 40: that is a song by Outkast. I know, I know, It's hard to keep up. Just don't worry about it. Occupy your mind with something else. Go try to figure out the DVD player, I dare you. bahaha!)</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Emotions?!<br />On the "boo hoo" scale I think I'm doing very well. Sometimes I cry when I'm hanging my head over the toilet because I don't understand why my fetus hates me so bad. Other than that I've stayed pretty stable. On the "I could shove ice picks in your toenails, cut you with razor blades, and leave you for dead" scale I'm not doing so great. I just figure if I don't end up in prison at night, it's been a good day.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Here's a snippet of the advice we've been given so far:</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"Dude, make your wife run and lot and rub aloe vera on her stomach so she doesn't get stretch marks."<br />-some D-bag Derrick carpools with</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"Derrick, remember that milk is just for the baby"<br />-Chase, my cousin's husband</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"I suggest you get a C-Section so that everything stays the same "down there". If you have the baby the other way you'll have shiz leaking out of there all the time"<br />-a D-bag I have the privilege of working with</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">(He follows this comment by saying "Hopefully that's not too invasive." Talking about my vagina with someone other than my doctor, invasive?! Pssshhh H-no! I'm totally fine with this. Hey, next time you take a dump let me know and I'll come rub your feet and you can tell me more about this vaginal leakage I'm about to experience, you sickening pig.)</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">"You can even go waterskiing, if you're careful. It's not the fall that will hurt the baby. You'll hurt the baby when the boat is pulling you out of the water. You'll get power douched."<br />-Dr. Dibble</span> </div><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">To sum up: Pregnancy is Magical.<br />(That's it, I love it. I'm putting that saying in vinyl above my toilet)</span></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6109720321049387607.post-46945246049225926702011-06-10T10:54:00.005-06:002011-06-10T10:59:46.341-06:00Try not to eat me.<div align="center"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OCtECogJcHc/TfJM0Rs073I/AAAAAAAAAfE/h6-34TrU9bk/s1600/37996259_bxdSAWyn_c.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 413px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 336px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5616636146272759666" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OCtECogJcHc/TfJM0Rs073I/AAAAAAAAAfE/h6-34TrU9bk/s400/37996259_bxdSAWyn_c.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;">Have a wonderful weekend everyone<br />and remember you are all sex panthers to me<br />Grrr baby... Grrr!<br /></span></div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08762327992233321703noreply@blogger.com0