Freakin Hot Baby

Stinky Poo Cutie Face

How funny is this thing? It even dressed it (IDK if it's a he or a she) for Halloween. Go ahead. Make one of your own, then come back to mine and lust. :)

Randomness at its Best

My beautiful sista Brittni tagged me so, here goes.

6 More Random Things about Moi

1. The other day I had a client with hair like this...

Now, not only was her hair like that, but she was rockin the HUGE 80's glasses too. Being the fine upstanding member of society I am, I'm curious to know what my obligation is here? Do I take a picture of my client, (I might even bust out the polaroid so she feels at ease), find out the name of her hair stylist, march into her work, put the picture down at her station, and slap her across the face? Would that be crossing the line? I need some input because this lady was a sweet lady. I'm not trying to be a snot, All I'm saying is she needs not be a victim of atrocious 80's hair any longer. I'm just trying to make a difference.

2. The snow came this weekend and for the first time since I can remember, I didn't sink into the depths of depression like I do every other year. I must be getting used to dissapointment from Mother Nature. It snowed on my birthday this year for crying out loud! My birthday is May 1st! (Don't forget to mark your calendars!)

It's supposed to be shorts and a jacket weather on my birthday. Not gloves and snowboots.

3. I'm so excited to go to a Haunted House this year. I didn't go last year, but this year I'm definitely making it a priority. I'm bummed that Rocky Point closed cuz that was my fave. Does anyone know of any good ones?

4. I used to enjoy blog stalking to see what people are doing with their lives, but the more I blog stalk the more I realize BRHS's English program must have sucked big time. What's even more embarrassing is that a lot of these people have a college education. I'm not claiming to be a genius here or that I'm above making typos, but come on people. Let's start with a lesson on there, they're, and their. That's right. There are three of them. Pull out your 3rd grader's English book and learn how to us them. And when you don't appreciate something you should, its called taking it for GRANTED, not granite. Granite is a stone. If you're talking about a baby crying the baby lets out a WAIL. Not a whale, that's what ate Jonah. If you have things you need to get done, you say I have things to DO. Not, due. They're (they are) different. If you read this and you're one of those people who has these kind of problems, don't be a baby and go private cuz you're being made fun of. I'm not making fun. English is hard. I'm just trying to protect our reputation. Just because us BRHS girls are easy and inbred, that doesn't have to mean we're stupid.

Tip of the day: There's (there is) this thing in Microsoft Word called Spell Check. Try it.

5. Someday I want to go to road trip to the Oregon Coast for vacation. It would be cool to check out all the lighthouses and beach shops. And seeing ocean with the mountains would be beautiful.

6. I'm stoked that it's cold enough to start making soup again! I love soup because it warms me up and it always makes a ton so I can eat it for lunch for like a week. So, here's a recipe for some yummalicious soup I like to make.

Tortellini Soup
1 lb. mild Italian suasage
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup water
2 (13 oz) cans beef broth
1/2 cup apple juice
1 (28 oz) can crushed or diced tomatoes
3 carrots, sliced bigger
1 cup zucchini, sliced
1 green pepper, chopped bigger
1 t. basil
4 t. fresh parsley, chopped
8 - 12 oz. cheese tortellini
fresh Parmesan cheese, grated

In soup pan, brown sausage, drain or blot.
Add onion and garlic, cook with sausage until tender.
Add all but tortellini. Simmer 30 minutes or more.
Add tortellini 5 -10 minutes before serving.Garnish with Parmesan cheese

Mother Knows Best

Alrighty, I know I already said NY was way fun, but I'm saying it again... NY was some totally awesome wicked bodacious heck yes fun! First of all, I flew all by myself there and back like a big girl which to some of you might not be so impressive, but I've only flown once when I was like 15 and I was with my whole family. One step closer to pulling on my grown up pants... yes!

Next of all I learned to listen to my mother. She was nagging me to get an epi pen and a medical bracelet before I left and I just kept thinking, no I'll be fine. It's no biggie, I NEVER have allergic reactions. It's been 4 years since the last serious one and the one before that was like 19-20 years ago. Anyone else in my shoes would have felt invincible too. And then fate stepped decided it was time to give Ashley a fall to the ground, bawl your eyes out, and not even care that you are acting like a huge wuss in front of a crowd, squirrel tap.

Kels dropped me off at the mall to do some shoppin while she finished work, and I hadn't ate lunch yet so I stopped at the food court. I was walking by this place and the lady goes "Sample?" and I was like "Sure, what is it?" And she says "Teryaki Chicken" I pop it in my mouth and it's so succulent and delish I'm next in line sucking what's left of the flavor off of my toothpick. I get some broccoli, some chicken, and some rice and sit down to feast.

I'm on the phone with Derrick and about 5 minutes into my din din my chest and my throat start to feel really tight. And I'm like Oh no!... I gotta get outta here and find a somewhere to buy some Benadryl because I bought a new purse the day before and I switched purses that day and left my Benadryl out. This mall I was at is huge and I suck at directions so I had a hard time finding my way out, and the whole time I'm like panicking because I've never been here before so once I get out how the crap am I supposed to know which way a gas station is?

Tight chest/throat + lost+alone+ in a elevator = Panick Attack!

I finally make it outside and start heading the direction where the most people are. The bonus was that K-Dawg lives in a nice part of New York so I wasn't scared of being taken into a back alley and beaten to a pulp, not that that would scare me anyway because I had mace in my new huge purse. (Which is stupid because by the time I'd found it in my purse, taken the lock off, and sprayed it in someones eyeballs I'd be a gonner regardless) The heavens open up to me and I see a Wal-Mart sign like 2 blocks away so I book it over there grab some Benadryl and a Pepsi and drug up.

I'm feeling calm and in control on my way back to the mall until I get inside and my eyes start to feel so dry that they are burning and I can't see as much as I usually can. Then the palms of my hands start to itch and I start to scratch them and I notice my hands are blowing up and it's moving up my arms! I sit on some stairs in a store and feel my eyes and realize that they are being swollen shut! Here comes another panic attack.

I'm on the phone with Derrick again and I'm crying because my stomach feels like it's being ripped to shreds and I can't breathe. Derrick is trying to calm me down and tells me to go find a worker and ask them if they have a first aid, so I do and she takes me to Mall Security. Gosh, they're so tough, I'm envious of the power their gold badges and goofy black hats hold, but that's a whole different story.

The rest of the mall is a little blurry cuz I was lying on a bench crying and hurting and talking to like 10 people at once, picturing my death and trying to repent. They called the ambulance and right as soon as they ambulance got there I spewed in the garbage can and I feel TONS better and I tell them I don't want to go to the hospital anymore and they say you have to go to the hospital, and I say what if I don't want to pay for it, but they don't care. The next thing I know I'm strapped to the gurney and away we go.

I get to the hospital and they take me in and wheel me up next to this chick.

No, not Kelsey. The old New York lady behind her with no teeth that CONSTANTLY talks to herself (even in her sleep) and then freaks out when she's actually trying to talk to someone and no one pays here any attention. This one time she just kept repeating the same thing over and over and then all the sudden she just screams "Excuse me! I have to go to the bathroom!" and someone goes to take her and she won't put her shoes on. She was a mess And all the nurses and doctors are trying to figure out how she got there and what they should do with her now because all she came in for was heartburn. I told K-Dawg she better quit buying purses all the time or that's her future, but I was jk. But she does have TONS of purses.

This is getting really long so I'll sum it up. Kelsey gets there and we've been waiting for like an hour and I still haven't been paid any attention. So I start videotaping the old lady just so I can prove the insanity of this ghetto hospital and the male nurse that looks like he just came in off the sreet comes to give me my drugs yells at me for videotaping in ER, but I played it totally cool, like I really wasn't. He gave me a steriod and Benadryl straight to the veins and I was getting so sleepy, but so pumped at the same time, but Kels told me that I'd better not work out for a while so I don't bulk up. Thank goodness my once a month workout was already over. Whew! That was a close one.

We were there for like four hours when it was only supposed to be an hour and I basically healed myself afterI threw up. I have no idea what made me allergic. And the nurse told me I look like Hilary Duff. Does Hilary have a huge face and eyes so puffy that she looks Chinese? I haven't seen her for a while. I shoulda played it off like I was Hilary, then they could send her my bill and I woulda been out of there WAY faster. Seriously I could have been working in Chinatown and no one would have suspected a thing. I've been to Hunan enough to know how they talk.

You like? Is very nice. I give you forty-fi($45), speshah price juss for you. No? How much shu want? twenny-fi($25)? How bou twenny-A ($28)? Is my price, is my price.

So seriously here's to you kimbe222. I'll never take your infinite wisdom for granted again. Unless I think you're wrong. :)

I'm Back Baby!

Ok so, I'm back from the Big City and it was a blast!!! A mini personal vaca was exactly what I needed. I should take those more often. I don't have a lot of time to post about the trip because I have to leave worky in a few, but I made a smile box and I'll post about it tomorrow.

Enjoy peeps!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

My Most Useful Egg, Until I Make Babies

Ok so those of you who know me up close and personal know that my feet aren't anything to lust over .... until now.

Thanks to this Beauty my feet are completely transformed. Someone who has a foot fetish would pay me to be sucking on my toes. I got mine at Sally's and they're only 10 bucks so if you have dry disguisting feet, get one. You'll be amazed. Not much else is going on. I'm still having camera problems or I would blog about cooler stuff, but this will have to do for now.

K Guys Don't Be Jealous, But.......

I'm Going To New York B*tches!

That's right, I just booked my flight. Go ahead... ask me to buy you a purse.

Do you believe in the Boogey Man?

Here's what's goin on in my life lately.

First: I do believe in the boogey man. We had a close encounter last week and I've been sleeping on my couch with the lights on ever since. Actually not even my couch. I make people sleep in the same room with me (thanks peeps) and they get the couch and I get the loveseat. So if this post is a little weird I can't help it. I'm runnin on fumes here people.

Second: I helped Derrick move last weekend and most of you who know me know that I'm huge ( I think it runs in the family :) ) and like way tough so I thought carrying a microwave from point A to point B would be no problem. Well I must have underestimated how much force my hugeness puts things down with.... no screaming, nor swearing, nor crying was heard from me... out loud anyway.

And last, but not least

Third:

A Tribute to Master Beta

Some of you know him and some of you don't,but this is Master Beta and I believe he's on his last fin. Derrick and I bought him last Memorial Day and he's our love fish and if he dies.... *tear* our love dies! He's been a real trooper so far, but lately he just lays on the bottom of his tank or up on the top of his plant. I even bought him freeze dried blood worms because I know he loves worms, but he refuses to eat them. Maybe he needs a girlfriend...

So here's to you Master. I'll miss putting spoons in front of your face and watching your cheeks blow up and putting ice cubes in your water and watching you freak. I'm sorry about the time I was trying to get you out of your home and I dropped you on the floor. My piercing shrieks as I watched you flop around helplessly probably didn't help, but Derrick saved you and
you've seemed fine for the past few months, but now... you're just not the same. It's heart breaking because I just don't know what to do. I've thought about flushing you to put you out of your misery, but no! I won't give up on you! Pull through buddy! Pull through!

Do you know him? Does he call you at home?

Ok so I don't have my pics back yet, but I wanted to blog about the joys of working in customer service. Particularly the joys of answering incoming phone calls. I love it when people ask me questions that make me wonder if the whole world is mentally challenged. For example...

me: Good morning! How may I direct your call?
customer: To Peter, please
me: He's on his phone right now, would you like his voicemail?
cusomer: No, I need to talk to him

Let's take a break for some commentary. Seriously, what kind of option do you think that answer leaves me with? Should I disguise my voice and pretend like I'm Peter so you feel like you're talking to him? Would that make you people happy?!!! So I answer like this...

me (still calm and collected): Well you could hold for a minute if you'd like.
customer: *sigh (so huge and exasperated that if a small dog were nearby it would blow away)* I guess.
me after a minute or so: He's still on the phone. Would you like to continue to hold?
customer: Well, do you know how long he'll be?

Hmmm.... Do you even know how long you'll be? Did you think you'd be on hold waiting to speak to Peter for this long? Nope ya didn't! But if you were wondering how you've suddenly put on those extra 20 pounds I'd be more than happy to tell you it's because you're difficult on the phone. You'd rather waste 5 minutes on hold and be irritated while you're munchin on your Doritos and swiggin a Pepsi than take a voicemail and use that extra time run a lap around your cubicle or do some butt clenches. Whew! Didn't see that one comin' did ya?! Life's full of curve balls, isnt it! So how the Helen Keller do you expect me to know how long someone else will be on the phone for? If you are a person who asks this question please stop. And really, I get asked this question enough that I'm thinking of putting mini shock collars on everyones phones and when 5 minutes is up I'll push a button that will shock the crap out of them so that they're forced to hang up. Then I'll have you're answer!

me (not calm at all cuz I've had it with dumb effers that day): I have no idea how long he'll be on the phone for. I don't know who he's talking to or what they're taking about. So you can hold or you can go to his voicemail. Those are your options.
customer: Uh... I'll take his voicemail.
me: Ok! One moment please.

And some of you may think I'm over exaggerating, but I'm dead serious. Nothing irritates me more that the "How long will he be" phone question. I understand that the customer really does need to speak to Peter, but he doesn't need to act like he's the #1 priority. I'm sure this isn't life or death. I work at a car dealership, not a hospital.

Baaaah! A new post. Are you excited?

So, it's been a month, and no it's not because I'm "So Super Busy" like lots of people claim to be. It's just because I can't get my pics from my camera to upload onto my ghetto work computer so I'm going to Wal-Mart tonight and getting them on a CD so I can make a real post. WHOOPEE! I can't even explain to you how frustrating it is to download your cameras software to like 3 computers and have none of them detect a camera when you plug it in. Freakin work computers. So all you stalkers (thats right, I know who you are) and haters who've got the message acrossed to me in one form or another just to say that I suck at blogging can try to walk a mile in my 4 inch high heel size 6 shoes. For most of you that means exruciating pain, but for me that's life baby. That's life.

Random Facts

My sister Brittni tagged me, but I don't really have anyone else to tag so if you read my blog and you want to do the tag, but I didn't officially "tag" you, go ahead and do it anyway and just say that it was me. I am supposed to say 6 random things about myself.



1. I think I am the least creative/craftsy/decorating person there ever was. My parents have the home movies to prove it. Here's the scene... I'm 6 or 7 and I"m having a b-day party. My mom made copies of a little ballerina bear for all of us to decorate and she got out sparkles and markers and glue and all of it. Everyone else gets started on their project and the camera zooms in on my face. Terror. What sparkles should I use? Will this color match this color? What if Brooke and Ashley and Trisa and Lisa and Brianne and Channy's are all way cuter than mine and they see how ugly mine is and they don't want to be my friend anymore. Guess who the last person at the table is... :(



2. I made deep fried twinkies last night. It sounds disguisting, but they actually aren't bad. You just roll them in batter, deep fry em, sprinkle some powdered sugar on, add some berry sauce or jam if you like and feed your face. They tasted like a funnel cake with melty vanilla stuff. And they're way healthy. Probably only like 26 points if you're doing Weight Watchers.





3. No matter where I live, I hate to be there. Good roomies, bad roomies, or no roomies I'd rather be anywhere but my own house.



4. I've never been stung by a bee, but I did get stung by a sting ray last summer.

5. When I read the Twilight books I did not fall in love with Edward. I know... I know... I've been repenting and hopefully I'll be able to take the sacrament again next week. I had a very hot visual of him in my head, (until they cast that Harry Potter guy for the Mooovie) but he was just too know it all, smarty pants for me. I guess if you've been around for hundreds of years you probably do know it all, but still.

6. I must be clothes concious because it seems like I always remember what I wearing on certain days. These are some days when I know exactly what I was wearing: *the day I bought my car *the day I met Derrick *the day I got my wisdom teeth out *the 2nd time I ate sushi *the last time I went country dancing with Kelsey... I could go on, but all of these days range from 1-7 years ago. Is that weird?