Stuff I Need Before the Big Funeral
{I mean wedding. Haha Oopsy}
1. A total body reconstruction.
Complete with a fantastic booty, perky breasts, and a waist smaller than
the "thing" that men who drive big trucks are compensating for.
2. Crack Cocaine
3. A mom and a mother in law who aren't
on two completely different ends of the spectrum
{it's not that I don't love you, you just couldn't be more different.}
4. A wedding coordinator who has her shiz together.
Really. There's about to be a smack down and we
aren't even that far into it.
5. A couple stiff drinks.
6. A cheap, yet exotic, honeymoon to fall into my lap.
7. A magical cure for cold sores from the Herepes Fairy
8. A year supply of Xanax.
