Yup that was yesterday... Actually it was on Wednesday, but my bosses forgot so I got appreciated yesterday instead.
I'll sheepishly admit that I get excited for this day.
Why?
I'll tell you why.
I print off a paper for a guy they other day and he says.
"Umm this paper you cut is too big to fit in this plastic holder"
As I look at the holder I can see about a centimeter of the width of the paper is sticking out.
I look down at my pants...
Oh no! When I walked my A over to his office to deliver the paper I can see that I've forgotten to put on my handy dandy Professional Administrative Assistant Tool Belt.
My response?
"Oh. Well then trim it."
And I walk away.
I get yelled after
"What you want ME to cut it MYSELF?"
And he was dead serious.
Or one of my personal favorite conversations with men I've seen everyday for the last 2 and 1/2 years and by strangers. Held at least once a week.
Hmm, there's the secretary. Ahh I can see she doesn't have on a wedding ring.
Total conversation starter.
Here's what I'll do to break the ice.
Hold up the left hand and wiggle or point to the ring finger and raise the eyebrows.
She'll know what I'm talkin about.
I'll usually raise the eyebrows back.
Then they say. "I can see you don't have a ring on your finger"
And I'll say "Yup you're right"
Freakin genius
Then they say "Well what's the problem?
And I'll smile way fake and say "I dunno it just hasn't happened yet"
It's because I'm bipolar ok?
Then they say "Well, if it were me I woulda done it a long time ago"
And I say"Ahh, well that's sweet"
Yeah? If it were you, you would have been smothered by a pillow and rotting in your grave by now. What you think about that?
The conversation can then end or some people have the audacity to push it further.
Like talking to my boyfriend's dad about why it hasn't happened yet...
No joke.
(hang head in embarrassment)
What will people talk to me about after I get married?
Probably my empty uterus.
I CAN"T WAIT!!!
Also...
The endless telemarketing calls, Lying to people who my bosses don't want to talk to on the phone, Pretending to have a happy face when I really want to rip someones head off, Decorating the 10 foot tall Charlie Brown Christmas tree year after year, The countless brain cells I've lost doing mind numbing filing, copy making, enetering numbers, and pretending to look busy.
What makes up for all this and more?
Beautiful Flowers
Lunch at Cafe Sabor on Wednesday
Lunch at the Bluebird on Thursday
A cool crisp Pepsi.
Ahh the Good life...
I'll sheepishly admit that I get excited for this day.
Why?
I'll tell you why.
I print off a paper for a guy they other day and he says.
"Umm this paper you cut is too big to fit in this plastic holder"
As I look at the holder I can see about a centimeter of the width of the paper is sticking out.
I look down at my pants...
Oh no! When I walked my A over to his office to deliver the paper I can see that I've forgotten to put on my handy dandy Professional Administrative Assistant Tool Belt.
My response?
"Oh. Well then trim it."
And I walk away.
I get yelled after
"What you want ME to cut it MYSELF?"
And he was dead serious.
Or one of my personal favorite conversations with men I've seen everyday for the last 2 and 1/2 years and by strangers. Held at least once a week.
Hmm, there's the secretary. Ahh I can see she doesn't have on a wedding ring.
Total conversation starter.
Here's what I'll do to break the ice.
Hold up the left hand and wiggle or point to the ring finger and raise the eyebrows.
She'll know what I'm talkin about.
I'll usually raise the eyebrows back.
Then they say. "I can see you don't have a ring on your finger"
And I'll say "Yup you're right"
Freakin genius
Then they say "Well what's the problem?
And I'll smile way fake and say "I dunno it just hasn't happened yet"
It's because I'm bipolar ok?
Then they say "Well, if it were me I woulda done it a long time ago"
And I say"Ahh, well that's sweet"
Yeah? If it were you, you would have been smothered by a pillow and rotting in your grave by now. What you think about that?
The conversation can then end or some people have the audacity to push it further.
Like talking to my boyfriend's dad about why it hasn't happened yet...
No joke.
(hang head in embarrassment)
What will people talk to me about after I get married?
Probably my empty uterus.
I CAN"T WAIT!!!
Also...
The endless telemarketing calls, Lying to people who my bosses don't want to talk to on the phone, Pretending to have a happy face when I really want to rip someones head off, Decorating the 10 foot tall Charlie Brown Christmas tree year after year, The countless brain cells I've lost doing mind numbing filing, copy making, enetering numbers, and pretending to look busy.
What makes up for all this and more?
Beautiful FlowersLunch at Cafe Sabor on Wednesday
Lunch at the Bluebird on Thursday
A cool crisp Pepsi.
Ahh the Good life...
6 comments:
Oh ASH! I love reading your blog, you are so entertaining! I know how you feel about the underappreciated shiz.... My bosses wife (who also works here) had a baby and so thats all their life is now. SO of course they forget Wednesday but if his wife would have been working we would have went out for sure... GEEZE! Atleast they remembered, even though it was a day late.
Your uterus is empty?!?!?!?
You're worth a least a six pack pookie. I'll let your bosses know. It's freaking hard to have a conversation when you're mind is submerged in midas mahjong (spelling?)
The life of a Secretary...! I got a gift card...HOLLA!
Those "conversations" (more like interrogation sessions) never seem to end. Cody and I dated for almost 3 years, which means there were 3 years of those questions of "when? why not now?". And we have been married for almost 3 years and I still have an empty uterus so its been another three years of "what are you waiting for..." So good luck with that-it seems like it never seems to end. :)
My favorite is when all the other assistants are getting gifts and your boss realizes that he forgot, so he pulls out a 10 dollar bill and acts like he had planned to do it the whole time.
I couldn't help but read this blog. I feel just how you do, about the marriage thing. Why is it the main point of conversation to men? It's like we're pointless unless there is a ring attached to our finger. haha, men and their teeny tiny brains!
Post a Comment