Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dear Body, I'm sorry.

I'm a failure.
I made it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...
Thursday I got vertigo.
That was a freakin trip.
I got back on track and rocked it on
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Monday came and I decided that would be my day off.
Tuesday came and I worked out that morning, but
that afternoon the devil came to my work.

Yes the devil, the root of all evil.
Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.
I ate half a box in less than an hour.
AND I haven't exercised for a week and two days.

AND I had a chocolate brownie with marshmallows
and chocolate frosting on top this morning for breakfast.

My mom made them for Derrick the other day
and he tried to hide them from me,
but I just couldn't resist!

So, I'm cursing myself.

This Boo lady will haunt my dreams

until I can get my fat butt out of bed

in the mornings.

Boooo!!! BOOOO!!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Diet Coke and a Pizza Please?!

I'm sick of sitting down and having my G's create that weird fat roll, muffin top, disgusting, flabby, jiggly, pudge thing.

I've tried to embrace it, but there comes a time in everyone's life when you must say goodbye to something you've become comfortable with. So comfortable, you've stroked it and petted it and loved it and just held on to it for years.

It's time to abandon the chubby wagon.

So, the last two mornings I've been doing Slim in 6.
With the one and only Debbie Siebers.

I will be waking up to this face for the next 6 weeks.

Doesn't she just look so cheery?!

Well, she's a mental workout beeotch.

During the pushup part she turns her head and smiles at the camera for ALL of them.

You guys are probably like "Oh big whoop you've been exercising for two days."

Yeah?! Well it is a big whoop to me. I've tried to start this program like 10 times and I'll do it the first day and then the next day I walk around like Brian Mitchell will be if he ever gets to prison and Big Bubba finds him. So, after the first day.... I quit.

Seriously I'm only on the first DVD (it's like 30 minutes) and I'm so sore it hurts to breathe.

It took me at least 10 minutes to walk from my car into work today.

And I just dropped the mail on the floor and had to bend down to pick it up. HAHA. I am so glad no one had to watch that. Talk about scarred for life.

And my poor landlords probably wonder what the crap is going on down in my apartment because I have to seriously grunt like the macho men do to get myself to do the next lunge without falling over. And the next. And the next.

But the good news is


And if I can make it to day number 2 I can do anything.

So, here is my farewell to fat.

Goodbye fat, you suck.

And if all else fails and I'm a lumpy butt for life, this will be my theme song.