Friday, July 16, 2010

The wheels is spinning

I've had a couple requests to come alive
in blogland and my boss
is gone today, so here I am.

My new last name could sound kind of hispanic.
Plurally prounounced: Bow/deen/ez
If Derrick ever makes me get a van
I'll make it an Astro and
I'm putting "Bodines" gold vinyl on my rear window.
And when my possy sees it, they'll be like
"Ay!! There go da Bowdeenez!
Mucho love for da Bowdeenez!!!"
That's right you mess with one of us
and you're messin with us all.

I HATE my fake laugh.
Every time I do it, I cringe.
I need a new one.
Or I could just be a weeotch and not
laugh when I really don't think something is funny
What do you think?
I just usually do it at work.
Is it more important to keep up the PR or just be me?

Old Navy bites the weenie
I went there the other day and I swear
they could make such cute clothes, but then the
designers are like
nah... this is too cute
let's throw this unicorn striped ruffle on it and
then it will be all sensually subliminal
because the ruffles make it look
like the unicorns are doing it.
I only say that because that's how I think
clothing designers think.
At least they'll get some recognition with that kind of thinking
because only people who are on
People Of Walmart
will actually buy that crap.

Speaking of Walmart
almost every time I go there I get called Ma'am
or stalked by uncaucasian
(not being racist, just stating the facts)
college kids until they avert their eyes
from my lovely lady lumps (aka private parts)
and see a ring.
Ugh! It's like I'm in that Britney Spears song
I'm Not a Girl, Not yet a Woman
but it's more like
I'm not A-vailable, Not yet a Ma'am
Ya feel me?

Speaking of Music...
Tonight I'm going to a Mo-Tab Pioneer concert.
We're taking out lighters,
My sister isn't going to wear a bra,
and I'm going to throw my G bottoms on
stage!!! WOO, PANTIES!!!!
Yeah, I might go to hell for that,
but so are you because
A - that made you smile or B - you're judging me.
So, see ya there!
Have a good one!