Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I'm taking up drinking for fun.

My vacations bite the weenie.

First weenie bite: 2007 - Oceanside California.
While frolicking in the ocean I get stung by a sting ray. Ended up in the ER.

Second weenie bite: 2008 - White Plains, New York
Anaphlyactic Reaction to unkown substace. Another ER visit. You can read all about it
here .

Third weenie bite: 2009 - Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
Our honeymoon. We hunker down in one room with the entire resort and brace ourselves for Hurricane Jimena. We talked to our parents on the phone the ENTIRE trip. I call interference! Not my idea of romance, but I guess if we had been thinking straight we could have started a resort orgy or something.... Next time.

Fourth weenie bite: 2011 - Flaming Gorge, UT
We're on a boating trip with friends.

Day 1 we search all freaking day for a campground and when we finally get set up and want to start boating and it rains all. freaking. night.
Day 2 is wonderful.
Day 3 I wake up with pain in my back I've never experienced before. I figure it's just a cramp from sleeping on the air mattress and try to change positions to will it away... I try and try and try. No luck. The pain escalates and starts hurting in my stomach. I figure my fetus is dying inside my body and panic. The nearest ER is almost 2 hours away. I'm screaming and bawling and the entire campground wonders what kind of animal is dying and if it's time to shoot it at this point.

My friends are running all over calling doctors and rounding up the boat and I'm still in panic mode. Dry heaving, puking up stomach acid, swallowing cry snot.... We make it to the ER and they tell me I'm probably having gall bladder problems and send us away with a $2800 bill. (I went back to ER a couple days later and found out I ACTUALLY have kidney stones. Freakin Evanston.) Everyone packs up and goes home a day early because of me.

I hate me.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Get in My Belly!!!

This pretty much sums up why I am not getting maternity pics taken.