Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again


Well, life was good. I just payed my car off, my insurance dropped this summer and then BAM! I almost hit a cement barrier with my car. I'm alive though.

Here's a full report from the victim/driver/freakin idiot

To get home from work I have to turn left onto a highway that's in a canyon. So I wait in the median and look in my rearview and kinda pick up speed so I can pull to the right and go with the flow of traffic. On Saturday I was doing just that and when I looked to the front of me I realized that I was coming up on the cement wall that comes in place of the median a little too fast, so I freaked. I hurried and swerved to the right to miss it and when my tires hit the rumble strips I could tell trying to steer my car was a lost cause. I just let go. Then I heard metal crunch and I was airborn.

When I landed I could tell that a few of my bottom teeth were not where they should be. And then I really freaked because I had a dream like 2 nights before the accident that those exact same teeth were loose in my mouth and I pulled them out! So I pulled those suckers back into place and that's when I realized I was stuck inside my car. Cue claustrophobia. I was crawling around frantically wondering where the crap my seats went and where my door handles were. Then I saw a girl tapping on my rearview window. She came and opened my passenger door and I was free.

My shoes flew off somehow so I'm walking around in a panic and everyone started asking me how old I was and what my name was and stuff and I kept saying I'm 21, I'm 21. :( I'm really not. How sad.

Then they sit me in a car and I start crying hysterically and shaking all over. It still makes me queasy to think about what happened. All these what if's and why's keep running through my head. I just take a Vicodin and that seems to make it stop. I see a lady being put on a stretcher and some little kids getting out of a car and I start crying even more hysterically. Did I kill someone? Did I hurt the kids? Why didn't anybody tell me I hit another car? Where's my brain? Did I leave that in my car?

This lady starts calling an ambulance for me and I'm on the phone with Derrick and he's like if you think you'll alright I'll just come up and get you so you don't have to pay for the ambulance. And I was like ok. No ambulance for me. And then the lady starts pushing me to go, but I freakin don't want one or think I need one. She reluctantly hands me some papers to sign and I step out of the car to get into Derrick's truck.

Whoa! Cop in my face. "Where's your insurance card? I need it. Do you think it's in your car?" Points to my upside down car like he wants me to go crawling through the broken glass to get into my glove box to find it. And he wouldn't lay off it either. Umm I don't know where it is officer sir. Why don't you get down there and find it if you need it so bad. You don't seem to be bleeding profusely from your mouth and in such a state of shock that you don't even care that you're wearing black hooker boots with dark brown work pants.

So anyway I can't ever seem to make a long story short or even a short story short, but for your eyes sake I'll make an attempt

I went to the hospital, nothings wrong except for my mouth and on Sunday I got to have surgery on it. They stitched up the cut on my lip and put stitches all through my teeth and popped a bone in my jaw back into place and I have braces on the back of my bottom teeth. I feel like a 15 year old again. I need someone to take me to Twilight and buy me a magazine with Robert Pattinson on the cover to make me feel better like pronto!

Everyone in the other car is fine. Their airbags deployed and the airbag broke the drivers arm. They said that when they hit me I was on two wheels. People pay other people big bucks for driving skills like that. I'm applying to Nascar. I'd fit in perfectly if I'd lost my teeth. I'd change my name to Racey Carr and make sure I bought a skin tight racin suit and unzip it just enough to stay true to my new first name.
Speaking of racy....

Eat your heart out
Here's my new lips. Move over Angelina.

Here's ma noo Grill

Extreme Close Up (Kinda sick huh?!)

Yeah, you like that? There's more where that came from.
Quit covering your eyes. Don't fight it.

And here's what's left of The Black Beauty




Now I'll count my blessings. One By One

1. I didn't kill anyone

2. My 7 pound holiday weight gain will be nonexistent this year because I've taken up anorexia due to my awesome mouth wounds

3. I get a new car

4. It could have been a lot worse than it was

5. I got a lot of drugs

6. My insurance is covering a lot more than I thought they would.

I could go on but I'll stop with

7. My wonderful family and friends

I'm very lucky to have such great people in my life and it seriously chokes me up to even type about it. How gay am I? (not in that way)

To prevent my keyboard water damage I'll make it short and sweet.

Here's a total sincere heartfelt shout out and thank you and I love you and I don't know where I'd be without you to all the people that I'm thankful for and that I love and that I don't know where I"d be without!

*****SHOUT OUT*****

12 comments:

Shels said...

Oh my! I am glad you are ok and still seem to have your sense of humor. :) It sounds and look like it was quite the accident! Way to go on the NASCAR driving skills-looks like you just might need to pursue that career. Good luck with the braces :)

Keri said...

I have been thinking of you and waiting for an update. Soooo glad your ok. You and Darin are here for a reason too many close calls for you two. Oh and I hate Sardine Canyon been in a bad one there. I can't drive it without getting anxiety.

Cheyenne D said...

Oh my gosh what a crappy thing to happen! You are so funny though, I love your good attitude!

Brittni said...

Wow - nice mouth. Ewwww. Glad that you're okay. I'm changing your name to black chicken lucky honey. Say that 10 time sfast1

Brittni said...

Whoa...my keyboard freaked. I meant fast

Angela said...

Your new grill is pretty sick! (get it? it works both ways!)

Chelsea Nielsen said...

Oh my dear, dear, dear, sweet, sweet, sweet Ashley!!! I am so sorry you had to go through that. I am greatly impressed that you're counting your blessing through all of that. I'm so very happy that ou're ok. Love ya Ash!!

Anonymous said...

Good thing i come home so soon, I am now driving every where we go and I am never letting you go to far...Love ya! See you so so soon.

Sandra said...

Seriously, seriously, you are one lucky girl. I can't believe your car. Sucks big time. Remember, before you start your car put on your seat belt and your glasses. Again, before you start your car put on your seat belt and your glasses. You know I love ya, drive safe.

Anonymous said...

Smash,
Now I know why I call you that! We've been there done that - in Sardine Canyon - I hate that stretch. Could you maybe bag that job til summer?
Sorry about your teeth and car, but it can be replaced - hopefully Axtell will come through with a good deal. . . We're just so glad no one was hurt.
Auntie "Em"

zacandbritt.blogspot.com said...

I am so glad that you are okay... Car accidents are not good for you! Reading your blog brought back horrible feelings from when you got hit by that car when we were in middle school... Scary!

Coby and KaeDawn said...

Wow..I'm glad you are ok!! That looks like it was pretty bad! I like the way you think though..at least your insurance is covering it and you get a new car:) Hope you are doing alright!