I guess I'm a zero cow wife.

Place

Flowers

Shoes

Honeymoon

And that's about all we've got set in stone folks.

We've changed reception spots thee times.

Cried like a million times.

Changed photographers twice

AND

Farmed like 10 cold sores.

Why? I'll tell you why.

Freakin A stupid sheep.

Manure flicking cows.

And filthy, filthy swine.

Oh yeah.

We accidently set our wedding day for August 29th.

The Saturday of the Box Elder County Fair.

Dun, Dun, Dun...

Cows are taking precedence over our eternal union.

Maybe it's a sign.

I'm being forced to forfeit everything because all the people my parents invite from Treetown won't come because they'll be too busy getting cancer from breathing in the Carni's cigarrette smoke, playing in animal feces, and inhaling deep fried fair food.

I can't blame them for the food part. We are still getting married the 29th because our honeymoon is booked and so we will still be having a dinner with family and friends and I've seriously contemplated having the wedding dinner at the fair.

How white trash/awesome would that be?!!!

So I'm thinking the reception will be held on September 12th.

Think y'all can pencil that in?

Or is there hay to hauled and hogs to be fed?

Or is it the Bear River Football Homecoming Game?

Dudes. Don't forget to dig in your closet for your nice pants with only 2 poop stains on them and I won't make you wear a black tie. Just wash that boogery loogie stained handkerchief around your neck and put on your black cowboy hat. You'll exude class. Or you could wear your old football jersey or letterman's jacket. You know you want to so just do it. I'm giving you the excuse.

Ladies. Make sure to try to outdo the bride (me) in looks. Seriously because EVERYONE will remember what you looked like walkin through that line and if you aren't fresh you can kiss your good reputation at the salon goodbye. So don't eat for two days, hike your G's up to your boobs, put on your tightest shortest dress, and make your hair HUGER than normal. You want squirrels to be able to hide out and make babies in there.