Monday, January 19, 2009

Apples to Apples, Dust to Dust

Ok I'm doing better. The sun started shining and it's amazing how a little bit of exercise can make you feel like a million bucks! I haven't been tanning yet and I didn't think it was that big of a deal until I gave some massages this weekend and my arms were as white as people's backs that haven't seen the sun in YEARS people! Years...*shudder*

And this guy at work keeps telling me I look pale or he'll say "You look really white today"
I know he's just concerned, but I'm gettig a complex.
Too bad I can't pull of Nicole Kidman's see through skin look.

We played Apples to Apples with my family last night and I can't remember the last time I threw up so much in my mouth. At least it was fresh. :)

Alright if you haven't played before #1 you should get out more and #2 this is how it's played
The judge picks a Green card with a word on it. Everyone else playing has 7 Red cards in their hand. The other players throw in one Red card that they think is a desribing word of the Green card and the judge picks the best one.

Seriously, this is what happened. My Mom was the judge and her Green card word was Sensuous meaning desirable, erotic, heavy, hot, provacative, passionate, seductive, sexy, steamy, x-rated. Take your pick.
And my Dad throws in the card... MY PAST.

There's more.

My Dad was the judge and his Green card was Sexy.
My mom throws in... HANDCUFFS.
And then when my Dad was debating on which Red card to pick cuz he didn't want to spend the night cleaning up vomit my Mom kept screaming "Handcuffs are SEXY!!!"
And she wouldn't stop ... :(

There was one more incident, but I just started blocking them out, so when you're saying your prayers tonight be sure you don't forget to add that you're eternally grateful that you were spared.

To: those kinky freaks (my parents)
From: your offspring (me)
I can't even look you in the face anymore so after I spoon my eyes out do me a favor and send me away.
I hope you guys have saved enough money to put me in a padded room.
Thanks a lot.

6 comments:

Kim said...

Oh please. You big baby. I think you exaggerate. We just played the cards we were dealt.

Brittni said...

Way to much information. You ow m a nw kyboard bcaus vomit got stuck undr a crtain ky. Thanks a lot.

Angela said...

I don't think they are as puky as when Derrick said Unforgettable=Kim Anderson.

Nat and Chad said...

Haha OH MAN Ashley! You crack me up! that is so so funny!

Anonymous said...

Now Kim. . . .
We ALL just play the cards we're dealt.
Some of us just didn't get a full deck.

Chelsea Nielsen said...

Ash, can I just say that I FREAKIN LOVE YOU?!!! You are hands down the funniest girl I know!