My Most Useful Egg, Until I Make Babies

Ok so those of you who know me up close and personal know that my feet aren't anything to lust over .... until now.

Thanks to this Beauty my feet are completely transformed. Someone who has a foot fetish would pay me to be sucking on my toes. I got mine at Sally's and they're only 10 bucks so if you have dry disguisting feet, get one. You'll be amazed. Not much else is going on. I'm still having camera problems or I would blog about cooler stuff, but this will have to do for now.

K Guys Don't Be Jealous, But.......

I'm Going To New York B*tches!

That's right, I just booked my flight. Go ahead... ask me to buy you a purse.

Do you believe in the Boogey Man?

Here's what's goin on in my life lately.

First: I do believe in the boogey man. We had a close encounter last week and I've been sleeping on my couch with the lights on ever since. Actually not even my couch. I make people sleep in the same room with me (thanks peeps) and they get the couch and I get the loveseat. So if this post is a little weird I can't help it. I'm runnin on fumes here people.

Second: I helped Derrick move last weekend and most of you who know me know that I'm huge ( I think it runs in the family :) ) and like way tough so I thought carrying a microwave from point A to point B would be no problem. Well I must have underestimated how much force my hugeness puts things down with.... no screaming, nor swearing, nor crying was heard from me... out loud anyway.

And last, but not least

Third:

A Tribute to Master Beta

Some of you know him and some of you don't,but this is Master Beta and I believe he's on his last fin. Derrick and I bought him last Memorial Day and he's our love fish and if he dies.... *tear* our love dies! He's been a real trooper so far, but lately he just lays on the bottom of his tank or up on the top of his plant. I even bought him freeze dried blood worms because I know he loves worms, but he refuses to eat them. Maybe he needs a girlfriend...

So here's to you Master. I'll miss putting spoons in front of your face and watching your cheeks blow up and putting ice cubes in your water and watching you freak. I'm sorry about the time I was trying to get you out of your home and I dropped you on the floor. My piercing shrieks as I watched you flop around helplessly probably didn't help, but Derrick saved you and
you've seemed fine for the past few months, but now... you're just not the same. It's heart breaking because I just don't know what to do. I've thought about flushing you to put you out of your misery, but no! I won't give up on you! Pull through buddy! Pull through!

Do you know him? Does he call you at home?

Ok so I don't have my pics back yet, but I wanted to blog about the joys of working in customer service. Particularly the joys of answering incoming phone calls. I love it when people ask me questions that make me wonder if the whole world is mentally challenged. For example...

me: Good morning! How may I direct your call?
customer: To Peter, please
me: He's on his phone right now, would you like his voicemail?
cusomer: No, I need to talk to him

Let's take a break for some commentary. Seriously, what kind of option do you think that answer leaves me with? Should I disguise my voice and pretend like I'm Peter so you feel like you're talking to him? Would that make you people happy?!!! So I answer like this...

me (still calm and collected): Well you could hold for a minute if you'd like.
customer: *sigh (so huge and exasperated that if a small dog were nearby it would blow away)* I guess.
me after a minute or so: He's still on the phone. Would you like to continue to hold?
customer: Well, do you know how long he'll be?

Hmmm.... Do you even know how long you'll be? Did you think you'd be on hold waiting to speak to Peter for this long? Nope ya didn't! But if you were wondering how you've suddenly put on those extra 20 pounds I'd be more than happy to tell you it's because you're difficult on the phone. You'd rather waste 5 minutes on hold and be irritated while you're munchin on your Doritos and swiggin a Pepsi than take a voicemail and use that extra time run a lap around your cubicle or do some butt clenches. Whew! Didn't see that one comin' did ya?! Life's full of curve balls, isnt it! So how the Helen Keller do you expect me to know how long someone else will be on the phone for? If you are a person who asks this question please stop. And really, I get asked this question enough that I'm thinking of putting mini shock collars on everyones phones and when 5 minutes is up I'll push a button that will shock the crap out of them so that they're forced to hang up. Then I'll have you're answer!

me (not calm at all cuz I've had it with dumb effers that day): I have no idea how long he'll be on the phone for. I don't know who he's talking to or what they're taking about. So you can hold or you can go to his voicemail. Those are your options.
customer: Uh... I'll take his voicemail.
me: Ok! One moment please.

And some of you may think I'm over exaggerating, but I'm dead serious. Nothing irritates me more that the "How long will he be" phone question. I understand that the customer really does need to speak to Peter, but he doesn't need to act like he's the #1 priority. I'm sure this isn't life or death. I work at a car dealership, not a hospital.

Baaaah! A new post. Are you excited?

So, it's been a month, and no it's not because I'm "So Super Busy" like lots of people claim to be. It's just because I can't get my pics from my camera to upload onto my ghetto work computer so I'm going to Wal-Mart tonight and getting them on a CD so I can make a real post. WHOOPEE! I can't even explain to you how frustrating it is to download your cameras software to like 3 computers and have none of them detect a camera when you plug it in. Freakin work computers. So all you stalkers (thats right, I know who you are) and haters who've got the message acrossed to me in one form or another just to say that I suck at blogging can try to walk a mile in my 4 inch high heel size 6 shoes. For most of you that means exruciating pain, but for me that's life baby. That's life.