Last Saturday Derrick took me on what he would probably call The Date of a Lifetime and I know he secretly wants me to blog about it so this one's for you Pooky!
We'll start with a little background I rent a basement that has a farm next to it. Mice? Check. Mouse living in my trunk? Check. Mouse living in my house? Check.
DISGUSTING!!!!!
We cleaned out my car to be the best it's ever looked and I put some Peppermint Extract on cotton balls and set them in some places because they hate that smell, so the mouse in my car is gone and the mouse in my basement decided my food wasn't good enough for him so they caught him upstairs. Problem solved. Except all this trap setting must have turned Derrick into a Trappin Fool beacause he decided to catch the raccoons down on the farm.
Pesky Varmint Catching has always been a hobby I've wanted to pursue.
My dreams are FINALLY coming true!
So, he set a live trap and put a twinkie in there and a couple days later, TA DA!!! There's a coon!
This isn't a very good shot, but it's the best I could do. This thing was huge! We thought she was going to be mean, but she just looked sad. She looked up at us with these big "please don't kill me" eyes at one point and it seriously just made me want to let her go, but I got to hold the flashlight while Derrick murdered her instead.
This isn't a very good shot, but it's the best I could do. This thing was huge! We thought she was going to be mean, but she just looked sad. She looked up at us with these big "please don't kill me" eyes at one point and it seriously just made me want to let her go, but I got to hold the flashlight while Derrick murdered her instead. 
Then we go to his friend's shed AKA, The Death Chamber. Serious. It even smelled like death. Let me paint you a picture. There was a coyote body in a black bag with with his skin on the table and this pinkish/white body (a badger) hanging from the ceiling by its legs. The badger's skin was on the table too.(Side note: I'm grateful I don't have a penis, so I'm not driven to do things like this)
I'm surprised this place send me over the edge.
because it gets worse....
Then they started cracking bones to get the skin to come off of her innocent lifeless dead body! After about an hour of bone crackin and sawing through flesh and fur we made it out of there alive and now Derrick has a raccoon skin in his freezer.
He told me he'd make me some lingerie out of it. Bonus!
I would feel differently about the situation if the raccoon had a fighting chance, but all she wanted was a Twinkie, man.
Anyway, it was the first animal kill Derrick's ever had so
Good trappin/shootin/skinnin dude!
4 comments:
Awesome Ash. I am convinced that since you survived this, you will survive anything. I used to like Raccoons too, but then my dad brought one home and it bit Chad on the big toe. Changed me forever. Although I wouldn't want to witness what you did...eeks.
I am a little disturbed. Not really sure what else to say. You are brave to witness that. I have a garage full of mice if he needs to destruct more send him my way.
Remind me to NEVER accept any type of pastry from you psycho killer BF.
Alright this is the psycho killer bf, first of all the innocent racoon had to go, it kept trying to get into the chicken cage, which i am sure all he was going to do was play poker with the chickens. And she wanted racoon lingerie, because i don't think that is even appropriate to even talk about. (Don I didn't even know what lingerie was I had to look it up).
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